Girl #1: Oh my gosh…identical twins..with man-chins!
Girl #2: Oh! They work at Hooter’s!
Girl #1: What? How did you know?
Girl #2: I noticed them when I went last week. They were all blonde and skinny there but those two definitely tied for most freakish.
–9th & 48th
Overheard by: Diane C.
Long-haired dude: You penised his penis with your penis!
Creepy chick: Dude! That’s, like, penis cubed!
Long-haired dude: Damn. How many penises is that?
Creepy chick: Well, three. Penis times penis times penis. Duh.
–56th & Lex
Overheard by: i never passed math
Crazy man: Girl, you been married?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: You divorced?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: How many times you been married?
(teenager girl holds out five fingers)
Crazy man: Damn girl, I've only been married once and we're still together.
–Time Square Shuttle
Overheard by: Holly
Suave guy: Where are you from?
Drunk girl: New Jersey!
Suave guy: Oh, yeah? That's cool!
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Homeless man: If I can’t get me a girl, I’m gonna masturbate until my dick falls off!
Nearby butch-looking chick: Yeah!! Me, too!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: smokincat
Girl #1: What did you get from your secret Santa?
Girl #2: Just some soaps and smelly stuff from Bath & Body Works. Oh, and a free promotional CD that my secret Santa told me was free.
Girl #1: Who was your secret Santa anyway?
Girl #2: Amy. I saw what she got from her secret Santa. It was a Santa vibrator.
Girl #1: A Santa vibrator! Much cooler than soaps and a free CD.
Girl #2: Yeah, I guess so. Until I stole the Santa vibrator off her desk. It was fucking small, though. As big as my pinkie.
–N train
Overheard by: michelle luvey
Asian girl: She said she let him do her in the butt for drugs!
Asian guy: That’s weird because she’s so conservative.
–E 9th St
Girl #1: Well, she does all that work for Playboy -which I really admire.
Girl #2: Yeah. And I like her because she’s a little dorky.
Girl #1: Totally.
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Hipster girl: Oh my god, I knew Art Spiegelman was going to be involved in this story, somehow!
–Barnes & Noble, 66th & Broadway
NYU girl to friend: So then he like bitched me out, hardcore, in a text. And he didn’t talk to me for like a day so I was just like, “Ugh, whatever.” But then he ended our relationship on facebook! And I was just like, “Oh my god!” I need someone who’s mature, y’know?
Friend: Oh… Yeah. Totally.
–NYU
Overheard by: Clook
