Girl: Ugh. I hate rude people!
Boy: Umm…you're wearing sunglasses indoors.
Girl: That's not rude, that's pretentious.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: steph
Girl: Ugh. I hate rude people!
Boy: Umm…you're wearing sunglasses indoors.
Girl: That's not rude, that's pretentious.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: steph
Six-year-old boy: Can I pet your dog?
Hot girl: Sure, but she’s a little crazy.
Six-year-old boy: Ahhh, so is my sister [points to four-year-old]. Maybe they’re related!
Four-year-old sister: Grrr…
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: dan finnegan
Girl #1: Okay so like, I wasn’t going to tell you guys but Ed* and I really did have sex last night… I was lying on the phone.
Girl #2: But we knew that already! Ed* called me crying this morning because he thought he took advantage of you.
Girl #3: Ok… this is weird.
–9th St & 5th Ave
Girl #1: Ohmigod. I never ever like come this far uptown.
Girl #2: Oh, I know! Never!
Girl #1: I never go above 14th street. Ever!
Girl #2: Oh, me neither. Ever! Well, maybe above 30th street.
Girl #1: Yeah, just for, like, Bungalow and stuff.
–Grand Central
Guy #1: The last two times I was at Crobar someone got raped in the bathroom. Isn’t that crazy? Two times. The last two times I was there.
Guy #2: Really? I don’t think I wanna go there.
Guy #1: No, it’s okay. Besides, they were girls. And the bar is nice.
–6 train
Overheard by: zztop
Older, dirty-looking hobo: Hey, spare me some change, all I want tonight is a hooker and some malt liquor.
–Ave A & 4th St
20-something girl: Seriously! There is nothing better after a stressful day than stealing a car, picking up a hooker, taking her to the beach, fucking her, killing her, getting your money back and not getting arrested. Nothing!
–Underhill & St. Mark's, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Claire H.
Young woman to boss: If you don't give me more hours, I'mma have to start sellin' my pussy!
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Holly
Subway musician in drag the night before Valentine's Day: Be with the one you love! If you don't have anyone, then hire somebody! And keep your receipt!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Musician on train platform: Everything gonna be alright! Get home safe, New York. Remember: if you see something, say something, don't keep it to yourself. And remember, New York, if you can't be with the one you love, pay someone! Keep all the receipts. I know what I'm talking about.
–B Train
Overheard by: Free Love
Blonde girl: I can't believe he pulled his dick out. Except not really. Except kind of. Except I kind of had to put it back in.
–W 34th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Crazy hobo, to himself: Geritol. Yup, that's what she needs. That woman just likes some dick. And there ain't nothin wrong with that. Nothin wrong with a woman likin a long hard dick. Women like dick. Ain't nothing wrong with that. She's gonna get some Geritol all right. Cause see, you got to get it up in the crevices. Work it in with a little Bengay.
–Men's Bathroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: Phil
Salvadoran guy, discussing use of the word "faggot": They can take a dick up their ass, they can take a fucking joke.
–Lawton St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Eric Frazier
Black guy: Man, I can't wear tight pants because I have a big dick! My dick needs to breathe! (holds himself)
–Penn Station
Female Central Park crossing guard: Das cuz da dick was great!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Robert H
Woman talking to cute businessman: Oh I totally love, like, water and all that jazz!
–Newark Flight
DJ to crowd: If ya love ya mama put ya put ya mothafuckin hand up the skyyyyy!
–Hammerstein Ballroom
Crazy man in leather pants: Bitches, I seen it all! Bitches, hoes, I done it all… Y’all, who won the Yankees game last night? I said, who won the Yankees game last night?! Can I get a motherfucking answer? [Pause.] Fuck all y’all, fuck all y’all niggas, black, white, fuck all y’all white niggas [Pause.] Bitches, hoes, Cadillacs! I done it all! Fuck all y’all [Pause.] Peace, love, and respect baby for all. I love all y’all.
–A Train
Overheard by: Sam
Girl on cell: …but I have to go now -I’m busy lovin’. I said I’m lovin’. I have to go!
–Outside Butler Library, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something woman: I need more people in my life who love my knees.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: McFreaky
Boy: I’m going to have a business card made. Some finance company. Girls love that stuff.
–6 Train
Overheard by: oya
Girl: He wears Timberlands.
Guy: Is he black?
Girl: No, He’s Irish.
–48th & 7th
Overheard by: Harmony
Girl #1: … And you went to Amsterdam?
Girl #2: Yeah, it was really cool. We went to the Reichsmuseum, the Van Gogh Museum, the Red Light District…
Girl #1: Did you go to the Anne Frank House?
Girl #2: Yeah, but we sort of did things backwards that day… We went to the Heineken brewery and then to a coffeehouse, so by the time we got to the Anne Frank House we were totally drunk and high.
Girl #1: What?! You went to the Anne Frank House drunk?
Girl #2: No, it’s okay… We went to a concentration camp while we were in Germany and saw all kinds of stuff about the war. By the time we got to Amsterdam, we were like, ‘Enough with the Nazis, already!’
–11th & University
Overheard by: I did the same thing when I was in Amsterdam
Man: Honey, what’s her zip code?
Woman: Oh…um…it’s 1000007.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Alizzon
Girl #1: We’re going to Montreal for the weekend.
Girl #2: I love Montreal! It’s so easy to get to, and so exotic…it’s
like going to a different country.
–68th & Lexington
