Girl #1, sarcastically: I've never seen a penis before in my life.
Girl #2: Ha!
Girl #1: Well, you don't need to see a penis to sit on it.
–Fat Cat, West Village
Overheard by: BettyBoop
Girl #1, sarcastically: I've never seen a penis before in my life.
Girl #2: Ha!
Girl #1: Well, you don't need to see a penis to sit on it.
–Fat Cat, West Village
Overheard by: BettyBoop
Hipster chick: Popping a blister is like smacking god in the face!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Alice
Homeless man on train begging for money by telling jokes: A black man and a white man go into a bar. They get into a fight with each other. And then they die. And then they go to heaven and god says to them: "What it is… what it is!"
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kristin
Girl to friend: I’m gonna have to get ghetto on god!
–61st & Broadway
Overheard by: lizzerd
Homeless man says to homeless woman: Now, these people are trying to hoodwink god!
–Seventh Ave & Lincoln Place, Park Slope
Overheard by: Annie
Professor to students: God is not a drug dealer!
–Fordham University
Girl #1: My mom is obsessed with tv. When she was pregnant with me and her water broke, she waited until Moonlighting was over before she left for the hospital. I'm even named after a tv character.
Girl #2: Natasha?
Girl #1: Yeah, you know, from Rocky and Bullwinkle?
Girl #2: Why didn't she just name you Bullwinkle?
–LIRR
Girl #1: Dude, you know she’s gay. Remember when she hit on me?
Girl #2: Oh, yeah! Now I remember! She, like, tried to kiss you, and you fell backwards off the couch! I have never laughed that hard in my life.
Girl #1: Yeah, that was pretty funny.
–F train
Overheard by: Sara
Construction worker: Hey beautiful, you have a lovely day.
Young girl: I'm fourteen, you perv!
Construction worker: Ay, puta…
Young girl: And I speak Spanish!
–9th St & University
Chick: Can I make a request?
DJ guy: Sure, if I got it….
Chick: Can you play some black music?
DJ guy: By “black music” you mean music performed by black people?
Chick: Yeah!
DJ guy: Do you mean Chuck Berry black music or, like, DMX black music?
–Motor City Bar, Ludlow Street
Overheard by: DR
Big black lady: Oh, honey! What’s wrong, baby?
Weeping white girl: Oh… It’s nothing. I’ll be okay.
Big black lady: Boy problems?
Weeping white girl: … Yeah.
Big black lady: What did he do to you, dear? Did he… Did he beat you?
Weeping white girl, trying not to laugh: No! No, it was nothing like–
Big black lady: –Did he sleep with another woman?
Weeping white girl: No, he–
Big black lady: –Because if he did he’ll get an STD and die, don’t you worry.
–115th & Broadway
Girl #1: What does the Pope wear when he like sleeps? Does he always wear the huge robe and tiny little hat?
Girl #2: Ha, ha! Wow, You just totally blew my mind.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Michelle Smith
Girl #1: Well, this is cozy.
Guy #1 from the back: Let’s get to know a little about each other. Hi, my name’s Aaron*. I’m a Pisces, non-smoker, but a heavy drinker.
Girl #2: Hi, I’m Becca. I’m a Taurus, and I really like Chinese food.
Guy #2: This is the best elevator ever.
Girl #3 as door opens: Get the fuck off of me.
–Track 3 elevator, Penn Station
Teen girl #1: We have to get in line over here…
Teen girl #2: You can just shut up and lick me!
–Bowery Ballroom
Overheard by: Rhiannon
