Mom: Let’s go inside, these flies are driving me crazy.
Six-year-old daughter: But mom, it’s nature.
–Sidewalk Cafe, 120th & Malcolm X
Mom: Let’s go inside, these flies are driving me crazy.
Six-year-old daughter: But mom, it’s nature.
–Sidewalk Cafe, 120th & Malcolm X
Little girl: Can I have pizza?
Exasperated, sweaty mom: No, it’s hot. And pizza is… hot. And it has… cheese…
–65th & Columbus
Overheard by: simon
Hobo: I have not eaten anything in three days and it’s freezing out. Could you find it in your heart to help me out?
Chick: I won’t give you money, but I will go into that deli and buy you dinner.
Hobo: Thank you so much. But I’m Jewish and if you don’t mind, I would really like a kosher sandwich from Mendy’s.
Chick: Oh, forget it — here’s five bucks!
–34th & Park
Blonde chick: I don’t understand. It’s stupid. You mutiply it by 4.
Brunette chick: No, there are 52 weeks in a year.
Blonde chick: No, you multiply the months by 4. 12 times 4, and you get 48.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Bystander
British guy: Hey, look, an eye patch. This will look great with my smoking jacket.
British girl: What costume will that be?
British guy: Costume? I just think it will look good.
–Party City, Union Square
Overheard by: Charlie
Girl, after getting foot run over by bike: Ow!
Man with bike: Sorry. (to friend) Look at her eyes, she's got blowjob eyes.
–L Train
Overheard by: Will
Girl #1: No, it's Terry Bradshaw, with a “t.”
Girl #2: No, it's Carrie, with a “c.” Carrie Bradshaw.
Girl #1: Um…no, it's Terry Bradshaw, you're wrong.
Girl #2: It's Carrie, with a “c.” You don't know what you're talking about.
–St. Mark's b/w 2nd & 3rd
Headline by: narcoleptic
Runners-Up:
· “Hopefully Matthew Broderick Can Tell the Difference” – why do we care?
· “It’s Not Sex in the NFL?” – Sandy Paws
· “Most Scores in a Single Season?” – Jen
· “One Is a Whore, the Other Had a TV Show on HBO” – 4 superbowls= tons of ladies
· “Wait, Are We Talking About the One Who Plays With Balls And Likes Being Tackled by Large Men, or the One on FOX NFL Sunday?” – Lee
Girl: Can Jews have sex on Shabbos?
Friend: Are you serious?
Girl: Well, I don't know! They can't drive cars, they can't carry money, they even have a special elevator for them in hospitals! What can they do?
Friend: Apparently, not drive to hospitals and pay people to have sex with them in elevators.
–77th & York
