JHS girl #1: Bitch, I will beat your ass!
JHS girl #2: I’ll beat your mother’s ass!
JHS boy: Y’all two are making my dick hurt.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
JHS girl #1: Bitch, I will beat your ass!
JHS girl #2: I’ll beat your mother’s ass!
JHS boy: Y’all two are making my dick hurt.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Girl on cell: Wait, you mean John? Like, John John?
–Astor Place
Girl #1: …and I told him, he was going over there all the time and letting the dog lick in the face and kiss him.
Girl #2: And now he gots herpes of the mouth and shit.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: Spider
Mom: Why don’t you like to play with Tommy? He likes to play with you when you get home from school.
Little girl: I’m very busy, you know. At 6:00, I eat dinner. At 7:00, I brush my teeth. At 8:00, I do my homework. At 9:00 I go to bed. I’m sorry, but Tommy will just have to take a number.
–M14 bus
Chick #1: Y’all heard Denelle pregnant?
Chick #2: Damn, I can’t imagine tryin ta have no baby. If I had a baby then I couldn’t hang out wit y’all no more.
Chick #3: Shit, we need to git you a man, then. I’m tired o’ yo broke ass!
–D train
Chick: Do you trust me with your CDs? I’ll try not to scratch them or anything.
Dude: I trust you with my balls. I think I’m OK with you touching my CDs.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Djlindee
Chick: In my passport photo, I totally look like a suicidal heroin addict.
Mom: Well, at least that probably means you look thin. Aren’t heroin addicts thin?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Djlindee
Girl #1: That’s terrible!
Girl #2: Well, don’t ask me to tell you a Terri Schiavo joke and then get angry when it’s tasteless!
–12th & University
Girl: One of my favorite stories is about my dead friend Kim.
Guy: Oh, I love the dead Kim stories.
–Dos Cominos, Park Ave South
Overheard by: Scott
Chick #1: She’s also doing her research project on fag thugs.
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Like, gay people who are thugs.
Chick #2: They have those?
Chick #1: Apparently.
–Pratt
Girl: …and he says to me, “DSL”.
Boy: DSL?
Girl: I was like, “DSL, what the fuck does that mean?”.
Boy: What did he say?
Girl: “Dick Suckin’ Lips.” And I said, now hold on–
Boy: Damn…
–58th & 8th
Overheard by: Ed C
