Wednesday One-Liners in Clear Heels

Woman on cell: I may or may not have just accidentally become a sex worker.

–40th & 9th

Overheard by: McFreaky

Attractive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a better body, I would be a prostitute.

–W 4th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: rpk

Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hooker, for god's sake.

–115th & Broadway

Overheard by: columbia undergrad

Five-year-old boy: Mom, what's a gigolo?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Justine

Woman yelling into a cell: For the love of god, I'm sleeping with men for crack. Do you really think that would mess with my list of priorities?

–2nd Ave & Houston

Overheard by: Wonders what the suggestion was

20-something woman on cell: Wait–am I in the sex industry?

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Poogins

Posted on August 27, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Bitch-slap, Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Ew, Jersey, Friends, Girls, Hard Drugs, Jobs & Careers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Prostitutes, Prostitution, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, West Village, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Still Aren't a Tourist Attraction

(looking down at Washington Square Park's currently under-construction fountain)
Girl: Oh, is that where the World Trade Center used to be?

–Kimmel Center

Bensonhurst Italian guy on phone: I can't fuckin' wait for the Freedom Tower.

–Financial District

Suit on cell: Does anyone know where 9/11 is?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jeffrey

Tourist: Is this the train to 9/11?

–R Train

Confused tourist (thinking he's looking at the WTC site): Will you look at that? They put a fucking graveyard in there! I mean, what the fuck?

–St. Paul's Church, Broadway & Fulton

Tourist: My favorite is my 9/11 Santa.

–Museum Shop, 53rd b/w 5th & 6th

Posted on August 27, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Death, Directions, Girls, Ground Zero, Guidos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Museums, Names, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Suits, Times Square, Tourists, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Words

A Gaggle Of Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: I mean, it was bigger than a horse. But it had four humps.

–14th & 2nd

Overheard by: LIZ

Drunk man: A plastic sheep or a real sheep… When it comes down to it… is there really any difference?

–Biddy Early's Pub

Chick on cell: It's better than riding a golden yak!

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Man to friend: Did I mean "wombats"? Of course I meant fucking wombats!

–3 Train

Blonde: What is a mongoose and where can I get one?

–Times Square

Guy on cell (fumbling with a pack of Marlboros): Well, for one, it’s been ten days since the baby snakes have eaten.

–92nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: The Mad Man

Middle-aged white guy: …so we told the children they couldn't go to the petting zoo, to see how they would react. (pause) It was interesting on a psychological level.

–Outside of Butler Library, Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on August 27, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Babies, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Library, Men, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Psychology, Questions, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People, Words

All Overs a Cities

(girl is shrieking)
Guy: What? There are mouses all over the city.
Girl: It's mice.
Guy: Right, that's what I said. Mices.

–37th & Lexington, Murray Hill

Overheard by: Morgan

Posted on August 25, 2008
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Stupidity, Words

Amy Discovers the Law Of Karma

(seven-year-old girl gives 10 books and a few DVDs to library clerk)
Girl: Can I please have a bag?
Clerk: Sure, miss.
(clerk hands girl the bag, girl grabs it)
Girl: God! What did you put in here, a hippopotamus?

–Brooklyn Central Library

Overheard by: Jessie

Posted on August 25, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Default, Girls, Library, Offers and requests, Questions

Can I See It for a Nickel?

Sketchy guy: How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Drunk chick: I have a dickel.

–Landsdowne, 43rd & 10th

Posted on August 25, 2008
Beauty, Compliments, Creepsters, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes

Luckily the Hoods Are Incredibly Slimming

Girl #1: Do you think this Beatles shirt makes me look fat?
Girl #2: No, but regardless you're still related to the founder of the KKK.

–73rd & Broadway

Posted on August 25, 2008
Clothing, Default, Diet/Weight, Family Ties, Girls, KKK, Music, Physical appearance, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

One of the Many Perks Of Dating a Kennedy

Teen chick: Move!
Teen guy: Move? Yeah, fuck grammar, we're in a hurry!
Teen chick: Y'know, if you weren't such a cunt you coulda had me!
Teen guy: I'll just fuck you while you're sleeping then.
Teen chick: Oh my god, that would be so hot!

–NYU

Overheard by: Guy With A Nonder

Posted on August 24, 2008
Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, NYU, Relationships, Sexuality, Students, Teens

There Are So Few of Us in the City

Girl on cell: I am trashed… Well, actually, I'm drunk.
Passer-by: Hey, me too!

–6th St & Avenue B

Posted on August 24, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, On Cell, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

Seems to Be Coming Into Heat

Teen girl #1: My French teacher is Ms. Smith*. I was like, “Please no!” I hate her so much, and she really sucks at teaching.
Teen girl #2: Oh yeah, I know. Plus, she looks like a monkey's vagina.
Teen girl #1: Have you ever even seen a monkey's vagina?
Teen girl #2: Yeah… I've seen her face.

–Promenade, Brooklyn Heights

Posted on August 24, 2008
Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Default, Education, Girls, Gripes, Physical appearance, Teens, Vagina

Girls