Punk girl: Can I get a cigarette?
Punk boy: You don’t smoke, do you?
Punk girl: No.
Punk boy: You just wanted a fucking excuse to talk to me, didn’t you?
Punk girl: Not anymore, arrogant cocksucker. (walks away)
Punk boy: Wait! I changed my mind! Come back, I have a cigarette!
–St Mark’s Place
Preppy girl: Come on, you have to go with us.
Athletic girl: I can’t, remember I don’t have a bra on and I have Lynn’s shirt.
–Cafeteria, Queens College
Overheard by: Waiting for time to pass.
Father, to daughter with Disney princess backpack: And who kisses sleeping beauty?
Daughter: The prince.
Father: He was a pretty lucky guy then, right?
–New Wave Diner, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
(guy runs by, slams into black girl on his way to make his train)
Black girl: Excuuuuuuuse you!
Guy: I’m on fire!
–L Train
Overheard by: clitoris rex
Lab girl #1: Oh my god! I’m so excited, I just got a Christmas tree yesterday!
Lab girl #2: Really?
Lab girl #1: Yeah, it’s decorated with candy canes and everything… God, I’m like the worst Jew in the world.
–Columbia Medical Center Lab
Cute girl: And ew! I can’t believe she slept with her brother!
Attractive, fashionable queer: I know! And he isn’t even that cute.
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: paul
20-something chick #1: Theresa hasn’t responded to that e-mail yet.
20-something chick #2: Is that the one where we told her we don’t like her?
–Sephora, 58th & Lex
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Girl: Alright, well, this is my stop, I gotta go.
Friend: (shouting from open doors) Okay, but don’t say I didn’t try to warn you! He’s got a tiny-ass dick and he sure as hell don’t know how to use it!
–1 Train
Overheard by: liz
Guy: What makes you think the guy she likes is gay?
Girl: He’s a bartender in a gay bar. But he says it’s only because they tip better.
–Cosi, 13th & Broadway
Chick: My theology professor is sooooo in tune with everything.
Dude: Well, duh, he probably drinks holy water and shit.
–Washington Square Park
