Lab girl #1: Oh my god! I’m so excited, I just got a Christmas tree yesterday!
Lab girl #2: Really?
Lab girl #1: Yeah, it’s decorated with candy canes and everything… God, I’m like the worst Jew in the world.
–Columbia Medical Center Lab
Lab girl #1: Oh my god! I’m so excited, I just got a Christmas tree yesterday!
Lab girl #2: Really?
Lab girl #1: Yeah, it’s decorated with candy canes and everything… God, I’m like the worst Jew in the world.
–Columbia Medical Center Lab
Cute girl: And ew! I can’t believe she slept with her brother!
Attractive, fashionable queer: I know! And he isn’t even that cute.
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: paul
20-something chick #1: Theresa hasn’t responded to that e-mail yet.
20-something chick #2: Is that the one where we told her we don’t like her?
–Sephora, 58th & Lex
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Girl: Alright, well, this is my stop, I gotta go.
Friend: (shouting from open doors) Okay, but don’t say I didn’t try to warn you! He’s got a tiny-ass dick and he sure as hell don’t know how to use it!
–1 Train
Overheard by: liz
Guy: What makes you think the guy she likes is gay?
Girl: He’s a bartender in a gay bar. But he says it’s only because they tip better.
–Cosi, 13th & Broadway
Chick: My theology professor is sooooo in tune with everything.
Dude: Well, duh, he probably drinks holy water and shit.
–Washington Square Park
Teacher: Who was the first African-American woman court justice?
Girl: Judge Judy!
–Leon M. Goldstein High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
Guy: What do you do?
Girl: I’m a probation officer.
Guy: Oh, criminal or family?
Girl: Criminal.
Guy: Can I pee in your cup?
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Paul
Private school girl: Would you cry if you found out I was dying?
Friend: Sure, if I was on my period.
–Great Lawn
Teenage girl #1: I’m sure there’s at least one West African child that isn’t heavily inebriated!
Teenage girl #2: Ya, I knew one once, he was a really bad fuck.
–112th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ema O’Connor
