Hipster guy, after hipster girl sneezes: Oh, God bless you.
Hipster girl: Don’t bless me.
Hipster guy: Fuck you, then.
–Fat Baby, Lower East Side
Overheard by: RoninTy
Hipster guy, after hipster girl sneezes: Oh, God bless you.
Hipster girl: Don’t bless me.
Hipster guy: Fuck you, then.
–Fat Baby, Lower East Side
Overheard by: RoninTy
Female Rangers fan to Rangers: Come on, ladies!
Suit: Haha! ‘Ladies.’ That’s so funny. I don’t really get it, but I know it’s funny.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Girl: This has got to be the hottest station in New York.
Guy: It’s good for you. It’s like a sauna — it will open your pores.
Girl: I don’t want my pores open down here!
–5 train, Fulton St station
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Little girl: Mom, I really, really want to jump off!
Mom: No, you really don’t.
–86th floor, Empire State Building
Girl: So, yeah, he took me to dinner at this Japanese place and–
Friend: –What’s his background?
Girl: He went to Georgetown and majored in–
Friend: –No. What color is he?
Girl: Oh, he’s white.
Friend, disappointed: That’s so boring… You’re sure? Plain white?
–116th & Broadway
Girl: So, for our Geology class we’ve got to come here for a field trip to look at rocks.
Guy: Central Park is 100 percent man-made.
Girl: But the rocks are real, aren’t they?
–Central Park
Overheard by: McJohnny
Girl #1: Dude, I need to take a shower.
Girl #2: Ew, yeah — you smell… What happened?
Girl #1: I was on the one train and, like, suddenly this guy, like, pulled it out, like, just right out there.
Girl #2: Are you kidding?
Girl #1: Yeah, oh my god, it was horrible… Horrible! His pee, like, was coming down the train. Like, just streaming down.
Girl #2: Oh my god, that must have been the longest train ride from 110th to 116th ever.
Girl #1: You are telling me.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Makelikeatreeandleave
Girl #1: What did you get?
Girl #2: Just some blank CDs at Virgin.
Girl #1: Oh, really? Any good ones?
–Union Square
Headline by: mkb
Runners-Up:
· “And by blank CDs I mean ninja stars” – Circuit City Ginzu
· “I Hear That CD-R Is Going to Hit It Big Some Day” – Amanda
· “Someone Needs Her Neurons Popped” – adam a. n.
· “Yeah, This John Cage Anthology Fucking Rules” – t.a.m.s.y.
Hipster guy: Yeah, my dad’s a bird-petter.
Hipster girl: How much does he make for that?
Hipster guy: About three friends a year.
–R/W platform, 8th St
Overheard by: the imbiber
Girl #1: Did you go to the restaurant I told you? The one with the waiter who–
Girl #2: –Fucks you with his eyes? Oh, yes.
–AMC, Times Square
