Teen boy #1: Get some straws!
Teen boy #2: Nah man, I’m allergic.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Overheard by: Talia & Syd
Teen boy #1: Get some straws!
Teen boy #2: Nah man, I’m allergic.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Overheard by: Talia & Syd
Girl: So we were all really drunk one night and someone said we should all drink our blood.
Guy: Oh yeah?
Girl: So we cut ourselves and dripped blood into this cup and passed it around. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen…we were really drunk.
Guy: That’s really not good. That’s really bad.
Girl: …But we were really drunk.
–Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street
Overheard by: jesse kay
Girl #1: I have to go soon, I have a child at home.
Girl #2: Oh, an undead abortion?
–Hi Fi, Avenue A
Speaker girl: Any questions?
Audience girl: Were you able to find out about how much women paid for the abortion procedures?
Speaker girl: About $200 a pop.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Julia Kite
Guy #1: You have warts?
Guy #2: I don’t know…I think I caught it at the gym.
Guy #1: Uh yeah, getting fucked in the ass at the gym!
–23rd & Park
Old lady #1: I have this paperwork that I need to fill out for my doctor and it asks if I’m allergic to any medications. Can I put down penicillin?
Old lady #2: No one is allergic to penicillin! How did you have an allergic reaction to it?
Old lady #1: Well, it gave me a yeast infection.
–6 train
Overheard by: Crystal Rodriguez
Guy #1: Dude, do you actually have a refrigerator this time?
Guy #2: Yeah, of course.
Guy #1: Good, ’cause I don’t want an infection like I got last year from putting the beers in the toilet tank
Guy #3: Man, you chilled the beers in the toilet?
Guy #1: No dude, the toilet tank! I thought I would be safe but I woke up with one swollen eye and two swollen fingers.
–Bodega, 12th & B
Chick #1: I mean, you are like totally naked on a table from the waist down.
Chick #2: Were you totally embarrassed?
Chick #1: Well, it hurts so fucking much that you are like in pain shock, and you can’t even think about whether you are embarrassed or not.
Chick #2: Do you, like, talk to the woman?
Chick #1: What the fuck are you supposed to say? “How do you like my vagina?” And after she rips, she quickly presses down on my vag with her hand, as if that dulls the pain.
Chick #2: Oh, god.
Chick #1: Then she rubs you down in calamine lotion.
–Burrito Box, 9th Avenue
Old man: Yeah, so the doctor told me to put mayonnaise on my head and cucumbers on my eyes. There’s just so much you have to do. I was like, “What is this, a fruit salad?”
Woman: That’s not a fruit salad, that’s a Caesar salad.
Old man: Right, a Caesar salad. Anyway, about that truck.
–2nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Hipster guy: If I take off my pants and there’s blood on my cock, it’ll totally be your fault.
–13th & B
Overheard by: WillieBee
