Girl: I have to go to the doctor soon.
Guy: Why?
Girl: Because I can’t breathe.
Guy: That’s not good.
Girl: Yeah, my dad doesn’t think so either.
–Rubin Hall Residence, 5th Avenue
Girl: I have to go to the doctor soon.
Guy: Why?
Girl: Because I can’t breathe.
Guy: That’s not good.
Girl: Yeah, my dad doesn’t think so either.
–Rubin Hall Residence, 5th Avenue
Guy on cell: I don’t think it’s time yet to do the professional intervention thing. I mean if she drops down below 90, then maybe it’s time. But I’d like to her get down to 95, then she would be hot. As long as she doesn’t lose those 5 in her tits. Shit, she has nice tits.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Tween girl #1: Aren’t you gonna wash your hands?
Tween girl #2: I don’t need to. I flush with my foot
Tween girl #1: Do you also wipe with your foot?
–Union Square Regal Cinemas ladies’ room
Girl: It’s not that it’s small, it’s just…not that big.
Guy: I wish we could stop talking about this now.
Girl: …Maybe you could just stop shaving.
–CompUSA, 57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Leonor M.
Man #1: Yo! You just picked your nose! You’re not gonna wash your hands first?
Man #2: Why? It’s not like I picked your nose.
–24 Prince, Prince Street
Overheard by: Steve D
Old man: You are the most beautiful woman in the world.
Girl: Aw, thanks!
Guy: She has crabs!
–Times Square 1/2/3 station
Overheard by: Meaghan Stefaniak
Teen girl #1: She once said to me, “I was thinking about us kissing in the shower.”
Teen girl #2: I hope you were wearing clothes.
–Canal & Broadway
Guy #1: Does she even shower?
Guy #2: That’s what I asked him. But then he said, “Not only does she shower, but then she licks my ass and jacks me off. It’s fucking great!”
–22nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Erin B
Man #1: You smell great!
Man #2: Thanks. I haven’t bathed since eleven.
–70th & Amsterdam
White girl: Since I quit, I have been blowing out the biggest boogers in the mornings.
Black guy: Boogers? I been blowin’ moons. Like the moons of Jupiter.
–1 Train
Girl: Like, I tried anorexia last year, and I only lasted, like, six months.
–Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street
Overheard by: Mary Button
Chick #1: Rosie is the queen of snot rockets.
Chick #2: Can you teach me?
Rosie: Do you have snot?
–Rodrigue’s Coffeehouse, Fordham University
Overheard by: Jess McGins
