Hobo: I have not eaten anything in three days and it’s freezing out. Could you find it in your heart to help me out?
Chick: I won’t give you money, but I will go into that deli and buy you dinner.
Hobo: Thank you so much. But I’m Jewish and if you don’t mind, I would really like a kosher sandwich from Mendy’s.
Chick: Oh, forget it — here’s five bucks!
–34th & Park
Guy in stall: Arghhh!
Hobo lying on restroom floor: That’s a nice one, man.
Guy in stall, exploding: Auuuggghhh!
Hobo: Now, you’re a fighter, man.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Whitehall St
Overheard by: Torotoro
Woman to hobo hacking up a lung while smoking: You should quit!
Hobo: Kiss my dick.
–92nd & 1st
Overheard by: monster
Hobo, playing a saxophone awfully: I’m gon’ keep playing ’til somebody gives me some motherfucking money!
–Downtown R train
Overheard by: Eliot
Girl #1: Oh my gosh. I have to pee so bad. Do you think this restaurant will let me use their bathroom?
Girl #2: I don't know, why don't you ask?
Hobo, sunbathing in front of restaurant: Why, of course you may use the bathroom, young lady. But you will have to pay $5.
Girl #1: How do you know?
Hobo: Because this is my restaurant and I own this building.
Girl #2: I find that hard to believe.
Hobo: Look, you can believe me or not, but if you don't pay me the $5 fee, I'm going to expose my golden privates to you. Either way, I come out on top, you see?
Girl #2: Unbelievable! (walks away)
Hobo: Why, thank you.
–Times Square
Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.
–M116 Bus
Overheard by: I hate the bus
Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!
–Allen & East Houston
Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.
–33rd & Broadway
Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.
–Times Square
Overheard by: yearbookie
Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.
–South Williamsburg
Overheard by: DanielXY
Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.
–Central Park
Hobo #1: What are you doing here begging for something to drink? You come on, get out of there.
Hobo #2: Shut up, you transie.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: teresa barber
Hobo: Can you spare some change?
Girl: No sir, sorry.
Hobo: “Sir”? “Sir“? Where you going? Fucking Buckingham Palace, Sherlock?
–15th & 8th
Teenage boy: I wanna see Zombieland soon. It's supposed to be really funny.
Hobo: You should just hang out here late at night! The place is full of zombies!
–Times Square
Hobo: I never should have left Kansas City.
–85th between 2nd & 3rd
