Hobo: Anyone got any gum? (silence) Pay me in candy!
Conductor: Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, 59th Street will be our final stop due to a power outage.
Hobo: Don't be sorry, feed us.
–A Train
Hobo: Anyone got any gum? (silence) Pay me in candy!
Conductor: Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, 59th Street will be our final stop due to a power outage.
Hobo: Don't be sorry, feed us.
–A Train
Girl #1: I don’t think I can walk anymore.
Guy #1: C’mon, I’ll carry you.
Girl #2: You’re carrying her all the way to 72nd?
Guy #2: Dude, you’re not gonna make it.
Girl #1: It’s okay, you don’t–
Guy #1: It’ll be fine.
Hobo: That place sure has great door prizes.
–Tavern on the Green, West 67th Street
Overheard by: gibberish
Black guy, cutting in front of line at movie theater: Excuse me, Barack Obama is President now. Thank you.
–AMC Movie Theater
Overheard by: Emmy
Man with hand stuck in bus door to bus driver: We got a black President and you actin' like this? You civil service!
–14D Bus
Sketching Jamaican hobo: Obama is some kinda skateboard.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Subway hobo: How come Obama don't have sex with his wife no more? Because every time she opens her legs, he sees bush!
–1 Train
Man to toddler in his arms: That's Obama. He's gonna save us all from doom! From doom!
–University & 12th St
Female suit #1: God! These people are so, so, annoying!
Female suit #2: Totally. There are too many persnickety people in this world.
Female suit #1: Persnickety people!
Passing hobo: Exceptional cheese!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alicia Morris
Homeless guy: Yo, yo. Can I get a donation to my broke-ass foundation?
Hipster guy: Sorry, dude.
Homeless guy: Aww, come on brother. Just pretend that you love me.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: some girl
A hobo is holding a sign that reads, “Why lie? I need a beer.”
Hobo: Hey there, mister.
Cleveland guy: Is he serious?
Cleveland girl: I don’t know. What do we do?
Hobo: Smile, folks! It’s a joke! I need a whole six-pack!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Gave him five dollars
Hobo: Hey, does anyone have some spare chicken?
Girl: Ha, ha, “chicken”? Sorry, I only had room for one rotisserie in my bag…and this one’s for me.
–L train
Overheard by: diana
Guy: Hey, if you’re gonna pee you could at least find someone to clean it up. Did you hear me? If you’re gonna urinate on the street, you could at least find someone to clean up after you!
Hobo: How about you go fuck yourself, motherfucker? How about that?
–Murray & West Broadway
Overheard by: Cait
Hobo: Pennies for the poor? [to girl with Scoop bag] Oh come on, you just went shopping!
Girl: Which is why I don’t have any money!
–4th & Broadway
Hobo: If anyone messes with you in the office, just take the palm of your hand an shove it into his nose. Once he messes with you he ain’t Jerry from accounting no more; he’s an assailant and the rest of the office will respect and fear you.
Woman: How did your last office job work out?
–L train
Overheard by: JDS
