Woman #1: You know that wasn’t a real woman, right?
Woman #2: I don’t know, I don’t know. I gotta ask my husband. He’ll know.
–23rd & 3rd
Woman #1: You know that wasn’t a real woman, right?
Woman #2: I don’t know, I don’t know. I gotta ask my husband. He’ll know.
–23rd & 3rd
Chick on cell: What are you doing tonight? Do you want to grab a drink, since I’m not having sex?
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo: You know Bin Laden? Bin Laden has no sex.
–1 train
Lady to two girlfriends: She harasses people with that body. That’s why ain’t nobody want her.
–96th St station
Mid-50s blonde: I just don’t think I’m getting anything out of this. I mean, you don’t give me sex, you don’t give me money, so what the hell am I getting?
–Sushi restaurant, Soho
Man on cell: I’m okay now. The doctor said I could have sex. If only I could find someone to have sex with.
–E 61st & Lex
Blonde: We don’t have sex that much because I’m a virgin.
–E 23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Guy in hallway: I’d stick it in her, but she’d just pull it back out again.
–Leon M. Goldstein High
Overheard by: Hand-banana
Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin’: not cool.
Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.
–125th St station
Overheard by: Solar
Dumb blonde girl to guy: Are you from England or is that just a British accent?
British guy: Uh, yeah.
–SoHo Billiards
Overheard by: Cory
Girl #1: He used to hang out at Bungalow 8 and do coke with Joaquin Phoenix all the time.
Guy #1: That’s so cool!
Girl #2: How can Joaquin Phoenix do coke? He’s a vegan!
Girl #1: Vegans can’t do coke?
Girl #2: Well, being vegan is supposedly to be all…conscious and stuff.
Guy #2: Does he think they make coke with meat?
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: ~dana
Bleached blonde #1: He’s totally cheating on me.
Bleached blonde #2: Yeah, with his wife. I don’t think that counts.
Bleached blonde #1: It totally does. The bastard.
–Carnegie Hall
Guy to two chicks holding hands: Hey, are you, like, lesbians or something?
Chick #1: No.
Guy, after disembarking and then seeing them kiss: So they were lesbians! Right? Right?!
–N train
Overheard by: mcr lover
Girl #1: People used to tell me that they took “gullible” out of the dictionary ’cause it was an ancient slang term and didn’t have a language of origin.
Girl #2: Oh, so like “gullibleae”?
–6 train
Overheard by: David Stein
MTA worker leading a blind man: You see where those turnstiles are? You’re going to make a left there.
Blind man: OF COURSE I CAN’T SEE WHERE THE TURNSTILES ARE!
–59th St 6 train platform
Overheard by: ahcnaej
Ghetto chick holding up lipstick: Teesha, smell this! Do this smell right to you?
Teesha: I don’t know. What it s’posed to smell like?
Ghetto chick: It smell funny — like it been in the store too long. I’ma take this shit back to Rite Aid [she puts the lipstick on].
–PATH
Overheard by: Manhattman
