Girl: Yep. That’s a big ass tree all right.
Guy: Mm-hmm.
Girl: Yeah, okay, great, big ass tree. I’m freezing, can we go to Starbucks now?
–Rockefeller Center
Girl: Yep. That’s a big ass tree all right.
Guy: Mm-hmm.
Girl: Yeah, okay, great, big ass tree. I’m freezing, can we go to Starbucks now?
–Rockefeller Center
Yuppie guy on cell collides with hipster guy pretty hard.
Hipster guy: Hey, asshole!
Yuppie guy: Watch it.
Hipster guy: I hope you have to watch your fuckin’ children die!
Hipster girl: Honey, you really have to stop saying that to
people.
–7th Avenue & 13th Street
Girl: I am glad you don’t think she’s prettier than me.
Guy: What? She is like, trailer trash.
Girl: No, she’s really pretty.
Guy: What are you talking about? She is some lady they found in the parking lot by the garbage. They were like, “Hey lady, we will give you $20 to do this.”
Girl: …she is like, the American standard of beauty.
Guy: She is a dumpster-diving prostitute!
–Access Digital Theatres, Prospect Park
Overheard by: matt stohrer
Guy: Can I just say, maybe Zorro shouldn’t be the first American movie you see.
–83rd & Broadway
Little boy: Why didn’t Harry Potter just take a shotgun and blow that guy’s head off?
–Loews Kips Bay Theatre, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Mark Schilsky
Girl #1: Shh! I can’t hear what he’s saying!
Girl #2: Bitch, you read the book already!
–DGA Theater, West 57th Street
Black chick #1: Girl, he so fine.
Black chick #2: Mmm…
Queer: Yes, we all know he’s fine, but shut the fuck up!
–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Scott Hoffman
Girl: So for the last half-hour of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I couldn’t stop crying. Then everybody in the theater turned around and laughed at me.
–Waverly & Mercer
Overheard by: Stu
Guy #1: You still fixing vans for that production house?
Guy #2: Yeah, I even got in a movie. Check me out in Prime; it’s with Uma Thurman. I’m in it for like 20 seconds playing basketball on the street with a red do-rag. I was like 30 pounds heavier then; I just got out of jail.
–DMV, Greenwich Street
Overheard by: Anthony Bloodsucker
Black woman: All these assholes going to the movies…Lowest common denominator!
–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street
Overheard by: Amanda K
Girl: I heard there’s an Asian girl in the new Harry Potter.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So they are branching out.
Guy: Yeah…but she is kinda big.
–Beard Papa’s, Broadway & Astor
Overheard by: sim choo
Girl: I am dating two different guys with kids and no one will take me to see Harry Potter. Now that‘s fucked up.
–Eatery, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Mike
Suit: I think you would really like As Good As It Gets.
Woman: Is that the one with Jennifer Aniston?
Suit: No, it’s Helen Keller.
–75th & 3rd
Overheard by: Aaron Hotfelder
Chick: You know we couldn’t be friends if you had Down Syndrome. Honestly! We couldn’t relate. You’d be all, “Eugh“, and I’d be like, “What do you mean by that?”.
–Macy’s, West 34th Street
A couple walks by holding hands, a tall man and a short woman.
Chick: What’s with the Wookie-Ewok love?
Guy: Dude, that’s harsh.
–13th & University
Girl: You know her, she’s making stuff up again!
Crazy woman: Hey! Did you just call me Chewbacca?
–1 train
Overheard by: poptart
Girl #1: Look, that policewoman has a seeing-eye dog! Isn’t that cool?
Girl #2: Oh yeah, cool, they have them here for that anti-terrorism shit.
Cop lady: …Is she friggin’ kidding me?
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Tara B
Chick #1: I feel so fucked up. I don’t know why.
Chick #2: Maybe it’s because of the way you look!…Just kidding,
Margaret! Just kidding!
–Barnes & Noble ladies’ room, 22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Hobo: You people are all evil…You are oppressors…You’re gonna be up shit’s creek when Moshiach comes!
–37th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alexander
Lady #1: Can you please choose a direction and stick to it? You almost made me tumble down the stairs!
Lady #2: What? I know you are not talking to me!
Lady #1: Yes, I am talking to you, you keep changing your direction left, right, back, and forth! You walk right in front of me as I am walking down the stairs and almost tripped me down the stairs!
Lady #2: Well, if you were not right up my ass, you would not have had a problem!
Lady #1: How can I avoid being up your ass? Have you seen how much room your ass takes up?–
Man: Ha!
Lady #1: –It’s like a wide load truck swerving across the highway with no warning to fellow drivers! It’s huge!
Lady #2: Nasty ass bitch!
Lady #1: I am sure you would know.
–103rd Street 1 station
Counter guy: Who is next on line for a sandwich?…Anybody?…Does anybody want a sandwich?…Okay, who wants a salad?…Anybody waiting on line for a salad?….Anybody want anything?…You, what would you like?
JAP: Excuse me, I was next!
–EEE’s, East 34th Street
Overheard by: SK
Queer: No, thanks.
Flyers woman: You’re a faggot.
Queer: Fuck you, you fucking piece of trash skank bitch. Why don’t you wipe off your clown makeup, get some acutane, and find a real job? Fucking bitch.
–110th & Broadway
Girl #1: Where’s Broadway?
Girl #2: Well, Broadway runs like the entire city from North to South.
Girl #1: But where’s the part that has the famous stuff, like Cats?
Girl #2: Oh, I have no idea.
–Fulton & Nassau
Overheard by: Velzzy
Girl: Oh, he’s constant, all right. He’s a constant asshole.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
