Insults

Chick #1: I feel so fucked up. I don’t know why.
Chick #2: Maybe it’s because of the way you look!…Just kidding,
Margaret! Just kidding!

–Barnes & Noble ladies’ room, 22nd & 6th

Overheard by: Stephie Russell

Hobo: You people are all evil…You are oppressors…You’re gonna be up shit’s creek when Moshiach comes!

–37th & Broadway

Overheard by: Alexander

Lady #1: Can you please choose a direction and stick to it? You almost made me tumble down the stairs!
Lady #2: What? I know you are not talking to me!
Lady #1: Yes, I am talking to you, you keep changing your direction left, right, back, and forth! You walk right in front of me as I am walking down the stairs and almost tripped me down the stairs!
Lady #2: Well, if you were not right up my ass, you would not have had a problem!
Lady #1: How can I avoid being up your ass? Have you seen how much room your ass takes up?–
Man: Ha!
Lady #1: –It’s like a wide load truck swerving across the highway with no warning to fellow drivers! It’s huge!
Lady #2: Nasty ass bitch!
Lady #1: I am sure you would know.

–103rd Street 1 station

Counter guy: Who is next on line for a sandwich?…Anybody?…Does anybody want a sandwich?…Okay, who wants a salad?…Anybody waiting on line for a salad?….Anybody want anything?…You, what would you like?
JAP: Excuse me, I was next!

–EEE’s, East 34th Street

Overheard by: SK

Queer: No, thanks.
Flyers woman: You’re a faggot.
Queer: Fuck you, you fucking piece of trash skank bitch. Why don’t you wipe off your clown makeup, get some acutane, and find a real job? Fucking bitch.

–110th & Broadway

Girl #1: Where’s Broadway?
Girl #2: Well, Broadway runs like the entire city from North to South.
Girl #1: But where’s the part that has the famous stuff, like Cats?
Girl #2: Oh, I have no idea.

–Fulton & Nassau

Overheard by: Velzzy

Girl: Oh, he’s constant, all right. He’s a constant asshole.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Guy #1: How long have we been coming here and how long has that waitress been working here?
Guy #2: She’s been here for at least 2 years.
Guy #3: She must be the worst actress in all of New York City.

–Brother Jimmy’s, 3rd Avenue

Overheard by: Fritz Chestnut

Construction guy #1: Yo, when I got home last night, I had a 3 hour nap.
Construction guy #2: Oh yeah? Did you spoon with your boyfriend?

–33rd & 8th

Overheard by: bernadette

Girl: Who’s that on your t-shirt?
Guy: Well, it says “New York Dolls”…
Girl: Is that Led Zeppelin?
Guy: Um, no, it’s the New York fucking Dolls!
Girl: Asshole.

–Beauty Bar, East 14th Street

Toddler boy: Wah! I want Mommy!
Babysitter chick: I want you to shut the fuck up.

–L train

Overheard by: RAZE ONE

Girl #1: Um, excuse me? Excuse me?…Excuse me, I need to get out here…Excuse me, I need to get out here.
Girl #2: Don’t fucking push me!
Girl #1: I said “excuse me,” you stupid fucking bitch! And by the way, your music sucks!

–L train

Overheard by: Lilit

Man: Shouldn’t you kids be in school?
Teen girl: Shouldn’t you be in Japan?

–F train

Overheard by: Cristopher