Four-year-old girl on tricycle: Why don’t you make more babies?
Yuppie mother: Because Daddy made you and your brother, and he thinks he did a pretty good job.
Four-year-old girl: But Mommy, do you want to make more babies?
Yuppie mother: Well, it takes two to tango!
Yuppie father: [Silence.]
–23rd & 8th
Mom: Let’s go inside, these flies are driving me crazy.
Six-year-old daughter: But mom, it’s nature.
–Sidewalk Cafe, 120th & Malcolm X
Little girl: Can I have pizza?
Exasperated, sweaty mom: No, it’s hot. And pizza is… hot. And it has… cheese…
–65th & Columbus
Overheard by: simon
Woman: I don’t know. I think I might wind up being single forever. I guess sometimes I think maybe I should have had children.
Chick: Well, you can have one of mine. If I have any, that is.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Kara
Boy: Is that your wedding ring?
Man: No, I’m not married, remember?
Boy: Oh. Is that your divorce ring?
–6 train
Kid #1: There are three species of ponies.
Kid #2: One with a horn, one without, and mer-ponies who play water polo all day.
Kid #1: And there's also a dragon.
–Rivington & Clinton
Overheard by: Kevin
Eight-year-old son: Dad, I can’t even tell the Ninja Turtles apart! They all look the same, they just have different bandages and stuff.
Dad: Well, do you know their names?
Son: Uhhh… There’s the blue one… Armadillo?
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: hero in a half shell
(small child is scrubbing the subway walls with a Kleenex)
Child: Oooooh! Dirty!
Mother (holding up hand-sanitizer): We’re anti-bacteriaing the subway.
–A Train
Mother, to little boy, who is trying to sneak behind some dividers: Stop it. You can’t do that!
Little boy: Why not?
Mother: Because this is New York! People here have more class than you!
–Bouchon Bakery, Time Warner Center, Columbus Circle
Little girl: Have you ever seen an emergency on the train?
Dad: No, sweetie.
Little girl: Have you ever seen an emergency at home?
Dad: Oh, yeah, I have. Remember when Uncle George cut off his ear?
–N train to Manhattan
Overheard by: ADC
