Little Italy

Hipster girl: I didn't know you smoked.
Hipster guy: Yeah. I know it's bad for me, but I really don't want to be old.

–Broadway & Broome

Little kid to passerby: Poop! Bye bye, poopie!
Obnoxious girl, stopping in middle of street and glaring at kid: Did she just call me a poop? What the hell!
Girl's friend: “Poopie,” not poop.

–Little Italy

Girl #1: So how's your break going?
Girl #2: Oh, you know, I've been stumbling upon a lot.

–Mulberry St

Woman, looking at car which just hit hers: That's Why! They're from Pennsylvania!

–Little Italy

Overheard by: Lena

Hobo to 20-something guy: Who you votin' for?
Guy: I don't vote.
Hobo: You better fuckin' not.
Guy to friends: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

–Little Italy

Girl #1, about friend walking by: Oh my god, you smell so good, is that Rush by Gucci?
Girl #2: No, that's me!
Girl #1: Ohhh.

–Lafayette & Grand

Overheard by: j

Stoner #1: Okay, so George Bush is our President, right?
Stoner #2: Yeah.
Stoner #1: If the Vice President dies, who's the President?
Stoner #2: Umm… George Washington.
(hysterical laughter)
Stoner #3: You bringing back niggas from the dead and shit.
Stoner #1: You just like my dad, we asked him who was the first President, he was like (imitates Asian accent) Oh, oh…okay, I know this, I know this… George Lincoln.

–Internet Cafe, Mott St.

Overheard by: Hugh

Skinny, attractive 20-something: Yeah, that’s totally my plan: Get completely smashed every night, eat tons of eggs, then barf them all up.

–E. 84th b/w 1st & York

Overheard by: Holds her Liquor (and her eggs)

Woman in bus on cell: George? George, you there? Oh okay, I’m on my way to the shrink’s office so I can only talk for a little while. Oh no, I’m still not feeling better, I was up all night vomiting like crazy and I’m still ridiculously gassy. Good lord, I should go to a doctor because I also have constant diarrhea. Oh George…

–M66 Bus

Overheard by: Stephanie

Drunk guy: It was incredible. He puked and then he just disappeared. I’ve never seen anything like it. He was like the Criss Angel of puking.

–Outside Lombardi’s

Overheard by: Rich

Girl stumbling back from the bathroom: You guys, we have to leave because I threw up all over the floor and someone saw me.


NYU undergrad: So we were going to have an intervention for her, but when we went to her room, she wasn’t there. So instead we wrote on her laptop, "I’m a douche, I drink too much and throw up."

–8th & University

Four-year-old to his mom: Do you have a penis?
Mom: No.
Four-year-old: Yes you do. I know you do. I saw it!

–Lombardi’s Pizza

Psychic lady: Can I read your palms?
Man: Fuck no! Can I read yours?!

–Mulberry St

Overheard by: Joe