Girl #1: Yeah, so lately I’ve been really getting into African click songs.
Girl #2: Please don’t demonstrate.
–Grand Central Station, Dining Concourse
Girl #1: Yeah, so lately I’ve been really getting into African click songs.
Girl #2: Please don’t demonstrate.
–Grand Central Station, Dining Concourse
African-American student: Later Mr. B, stay white and don’t let the black man bite!
Mr. B: Ok, Alex, stay black and don’t take my wallet.
–NYC Lab School
Vendor guy: Hey baby, do you want the Post delivered every morning?
Hot girl: No, I don’t know how to read.
Vendor guy: That’s all right, I’ll read it to you. I’ll come to your crib and read it to you every morning.
–3rd Ave street fair
Overheard by: Andy Marc
Weiner dog: Woof woof.
Hobo: That isn’t fucking funny! Piece of shit, fucking hors d’oeuvres on wheels!
–Lex between 86 & 87
Dude #1: Have you heard of the sleeper?
Dude #2: No, what’s that?
Dude #1: It’s when you sit on your hand for five minutes then rub one out. It feels like someone else is jerking you off.
Dude #2: I’m trying that as soon as I get home man, thanks!
–Mulberry St, Chinatown
Overheard by: Jewess Jay
Urinal user: Hey!
Stall user: Yeah?
Urinal user: You doing number one in there?
Stall user: Um . . . yeah.
Urinal user: Good! Because if you’re talking when you’re doing number two it don’t come out right.
–87th & 1st
Boy #1: That bitch kind of looks like her dog.
Boy #2: Yeah, but she’s busted.
Boy #1: Word, I’d definitely pipe the dog before I piped her.
Boy #2: What the fuck?
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: sarahh
Little boy: So far, this is the worst day of my life.
Mom: Oh, no. You’re still a small fry.
Little boy: I am not a “small fries!” Why do you keep saying that?
–Bleecker & Christopher
Overheard by: Manhattman
Man: Hi…Nice to see you again.
Woman: Hi.
Man: How’s your Prius?
–Broadway & 8th during Anti-War Rally
Overheard by: Joey Gillis
Woman holding flowers: How much are these?
Vendor: Eight dollars.
Woman: Eight dollars? That is ridiculous!
Vendor: Well maybe you should stop buying yourself flowers and get a man to buy them for you.
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
