Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer!
–49th & 6th
Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer!
–49th & 6th
Hobo: Spare some change, miss?
Hipster girl: I have some food. It’s still warm, you want it?
Hobo: No, thanks. I’m on a special diet. I don’t eat food.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Queer #1: So when he showed up I was surprised because he was kinda gangsta.
Queer #2: Ok, so what’s wrong with that?
Queer #1: Well, I guess I should have expected it because his profile said he was from the Bronx… but I mean you can still be from the Bronx and be Americanized.
–Union Square East
Girl: He had so much damn earwax!
Guy: Girl, I know… Sleeping with boys like that is just so awkward.
–The Hudson Hotel
Teenage girl: I really admire immigrants…even though most of them are criminals.
–Times Square
Overheard by: intern
Southern college boy: I never knew a month of Xanax would turn into a six-week relationship.
Girl: Was it you or my sister that ate it?
College boy: Both.
Girl: Nice.
–Martinetti’s, 1st & Houston
Overheard by: why didn’t i think of that
Thug #1: I heard he’s in some shit. Married, two kids, child support,
a wife, girl on the side, and she just found out about his boyfriend.
Thug #2: Yeah, that’s some shit.
–15th & 3rd
Overheard by: Garrett Ricciardi
Chick: You have no idea how much less anxiety I have now that I know I don’t have to worry about leaving the country…not that they are kicking me out, but you know that I can leave and come back and it’s not an issue…This just makes me so excited! When I get excited I start to twitch, I apologize, but it’s a good thing! You get me excited! Not in that way, I mean, you’re my professor, and female, but not to say you aren’t good looking…
Professor: Um, okay, so let’s pretend I was deaf for that last 30 seconds and I’ll see you on Friday.
–Hunter North Building, East 69th Street
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Girl: I guess I’ll be taking my vibrator out for Valentine’s.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: Toby Boudreaux
Chick: I don’t have any more cigarettes.
Bag lady: I don’t want no cigarette. I ain’t no crack addict. I’m a ho.
–outside Ding Dong Lounge, UWS
Guy: So then why are guys from the Eastern Europe and black guys so good at basketball?
Dad: Natural selection.
Guy: What?
Dad: They’ve had to fight to survive. It weeds out the physically inadequate.
Guy: Give me a break. It’s the ghetto, not some Hobbesian state of nature; they’re not cavemen living in anarchy up there.
–Madison Square Garden
