Nice guy #1: Hey, miss, would you like my seat?
Preggers: No.
Nice guy #2: Here, take mine. I’m getting off soon.
Preggers: For the love of God, I fucking said no! People these days gotta learn themselves some English.
–Bronx-bound 4 train
Nice guy #1: Hey, miss, would you like my seat?
Preggers: No.
Nice guy #2: Here, take mine. I’m getting off soon.
Preggers: For the love of God, I fucking said no! People these days gotta learn themselves some English.
–Bronx-bound 4 train
Girl #1: Sara, everything’s not about you.
Girl #2: Everything’s relevant to me.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Trix
Little boy #1: Your pants are so tight, your balls have asthma.
Little boy #2: But that’s my joke…
–12th between A & B
Tech guy #1: I left my bike at the PATH station over the weekend.
Tech guy #2: Was it stolen?
Tech guy #1: No, but all the wheels are missing.
–Office, Madison & 47th
Overheard by: Will
B&T girl: Oh my god, is that Kramer?
B&T guy: Oh yeah, hey, I think it is.
Man: That’s Elliott fucking Gould.
–Katz’s Deli, Houston Street
Dude on cell: She was a size 16 before the baby, but now she’s a 32. She went from Kermit the Frog to Snuffleupagus!…What size are you?
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy #1: Did you hear? The Yankees just bought the Boston Red Sox logo. Now the Red Sox can’t use it anymore; they’ve got to come up with a different one. They did it just to piss off the Red Sox.
Guy #2: For real?
Guy #1: No.
–NY Health & Racquet Club, East 57th Street
Girl #1: So I got that, like, Wal-stat stuff. Whatever the generic brand of Monistat is.
Girl #2: Dude, don’t skimp when it comes to your vagina. That’s an area where you really want quality.
Girl #1: Says the girl who slept with John!
–1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: djlindee
Man: I am living the American dream — I am unemployed, I wake up and play Xbox, and the state pays me! I am going to stay unemployed for as long as possible.
Hobo: The state pays you to not work? Shit, son, what am I doing wrong?
–W 51st & 11th
Guy to three cute girls: You’re the best looking gay guys I’ve seen all day!
–Christopher & Bedford
Chick to dude: You could wear a dress if you wanted to.
–Broadway
Abercrombie tot: Wait, you can’t carry a boy dog in a purse. That’s unnatural!
–Penn Station
Tween girl to friends: No, she’s a boy now and she looks gay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R
Cute brunette: Who am I, forcing your lovers into a male-female dichotomy? I am terrible!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
