Extremely large guy: Yo, I’m scared of clowns for reeeaaal.
–Court & Montague, Brooklyn
Mother to young child, after ghetto girl passes: No, honey, she’s not a clown. She just likes to dress that way.
–95th & Madison
Overheard by: Don Ricardo
Mother, watching a clown holding a briefcase walk onto the train: [to child] Look, honey, it’s a funny clown!… [to husband] Do you think he has a bomb in that briefcase?
–F train
Overheard by: and then i burst out laughing.
Tween girl: Mom you’re not a tease if you give it up, you’re a slut. Jesse’s a slut, I’m a tease.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: S-dawg
Little boy: Ewww…ewww….
Mom: Stop saying ewww..those are bras..
Little boy: I hate bras
Mom: Don’t say that, you’ll change your mind when you gets older.
–JC Penney lingerie department, Queens
Overheard by: a fellow shopper
Mom: Zacky! Where your ass at?
Small boy: Nowhere.
Mom: Yeah it is!
–Times Square
Mom: Why don’t you go and help your uncle fix the car?
Young girl: Excuse me… I’m not a screwdriver and I’m not a mechanic.
–Astoria
Mother: Are you sure you want to eat that?
Daughter: Mom! Do you know how that makes me feel? You know how you feel when I make fun of your hair. Now compound that by a hundred. I have a Ph.D. and a fat ass. It’s who I am.
Mother: You make fun of my hair?
–Cafe, MoMA
Overheard by: nothing wrong with her hair
Little boy: That’s not art!
Mom: Shhh… some people think so.
Little boy: Nope, not art.
–Whitney Museum, 5th floor
Overheard by: didn’t think it was art either
Young boy, singing: I love you! You love me! We’re as happy as two can be!
Mother: I’ll show you how much I fucking love you!
–D train, Fordham Rd
Overheard by: horrified
Girl: But I don’t wanna be a geisha.
Mother: We’ll talk about it when we get home.
–55th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Chris Evans
Mother, pointing at poster: Now, who has a hat?
Toddler: Keith Richards.
Mother: Yes, Keith Richards has a hat. Good observation!
–7th Ave & 5th St, Park Slope
