Son: Mom, can I go and see Santa?
Mom: You ain’t sittin’ your big black ass on some white Santa!
–Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Confused white person
Son: Mom, can I go and see Santa?
Mom: You ain’t sittin’ your big black ass on some white Santa!
–Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Confused white person
Screaming mom: You have no idea what goes on in this world! Open your eyes and get a goddamn clue already!
Laughing son, ignoring her: Derrr…
–Hudson & Bank
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Little boy: It's a monkey!
Mom: It's bush.
–18th St & 5th Ave
Woman, as ATM spits out money: See? You just punch in your code and the machine gives you your money.
Kid: Wow! We’re gonna be rich!
–Bank of America ATM, Madison Avenue
Overheard by: johnny virgil
Teen: That guy is jerkin’ it right there in public!
Mother: Look away. He just has a disease.
Teen: What? So chronic masturbation is a disease now?
–42nd St subway
Overheard by: come again?
Headline by: gerard
Runners-Up:
· “Cause Dad Said Its a Cure for Fat Wife Syndrome” – angelica cayne
· “Come Again?” – Mary Beth
· “Ironically, NOT Healed by Laying on Of Hands” – JohnnyB
· “Momma Don’t Know Jack.” – jason daniel
· “No. I Was Referring To The Pus Pockets On The Head Of His Penis.” – Redneck Jedi
· “There’s Even a 12 Stroke Program” – Grantakerous
· “We’re Tivoing _That_ Telethon!” – Vera Vaughan Hough
Little girl, loudly, to security guard: My brother has a suspicious package in his pants!
Mother, pulling her away: You don't talk about that in public!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Strip search in 3…2…1…
Girl #1: Oh my God, look at that lady.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Titty drip!
Girl #2: Oh my God. Go home and milk yourself.
–19th & 5th
Little boy: Mommy, John McCain likes Abba.
Mom: Does he really now? Then you two have something in common.
Little boy: Noooooo!
–College Walk, Columbia University
Teenage daughter to mother, in front of Ashley Stewart: How about there? I'm sure they have some cute dresses.
Mother: Ashley Stewart is for fat people, honey. (points to three plus-size women entering store)
–Kings Plaza
Four-year-old-boy: And there was a girl. And she had rainbow hair, and rainbow clothes, and a tattoo that was a rainbow, and rainbow socks.
Mother: What about her?
Four-year-old-boy: She picked her nose!
–PATH Train
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
