Woman to ten-year-old daughter: And then we'll go to the cemetery to visit nana.
Four-year-old son: Can I come to the cemetery, too?!
Woman: No.
Four-year-old son, defiantly: Well, you're not going to see nana anyway. You're just going to see her grave!
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Rachel C.
Mother: Honey, your dress is just too low. I know you don’t mean to, but when you wear things that show that much of you, you attract the wrong kind of men.
Scary Mexican man sitting across: Oh honey, you definitely do.
(girl hastily pulls her dress up)
–1 Train
Overheard by: Anna
A two year old Chinese girl decided to squat on a manhole cover.
Chinese Mom: What are you doing?! That will warm up your butt and it will burst into flames!
–66th & Columbus
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Old White man: I have never seen a mother treat a child in such a way.
Latina mother: Dude. You don’t even want to fuck around with a crazy bitch from the Bronx.
–4/5 train
Overheard by: Taryn
Mother to young son: Get down from there. Walk down the stairs like a human being!
Son: I’m not a… I’m a alien.
Mother: Fine then. Maybe we’ll just leave you here… In your natural habitat.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jordan Leyton-Mange
Woman: Oh, I just phoned him at five a.m. to tell him that I accidentally set the alarm clock at six a.m., so that he wouldn’t be woken up by it.
–14th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: muffin
Man on cell: So you woke up and she was gone?! Sweet!
–95 Wall St
Overheard by: Samantha
Boriqua woman: My two-year-old refuses to understand the concept of ‘Shut the fuck up and go to sleep.’
–McDonald’s, Union Square
Overheard by: drew roddy
Two women singing: He knows when you’ve been sleeping, he knows when you’re awake; Santa Claus is stalkin’ ya, lock your doors for goodness sakes!
–Crowded 6 train
Overheard by: Ltrainer
Tranny heading toward Halloween parade, seeing Sarah Palin costume: Oh my god! That's the lady President, right? The assistant President!
–W 4th St Subway Station
(muslim hot dog vendor bows down to pray at 5 pm)
Child in stroller: Look! Look! Mommy! Barack Obama!
–W 60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Brian
Thug, to hot girl passing by: Hey! Yo, girl, excuse me! (she keeps walking) So, you're voting for McCain, then?
–60th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Alex A.
Little girl: I want to vote for Obama…because he's the first black person to run against Bush.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Dana
Sidewalk watch vendor: These are the watches Obama wore before he became Senator!
–33rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: crosstown girl
Little black girl trick-or-treating with family: Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Obama! Obama!
–Pacific St & Nostrand
Overheard by: Obama Now!
Older gentleman on phone: I was just calling to ask if you wanted to make love to my nice, long, Lebanese penis again tonight. (pause) Yes, yes, 10 works for me.
–45th & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Morgan
Mother, hissing to girl dancing exuberantly: You stop that! Stop it! Boys will try to sex you! Stop!
–6 Train Station
Girl on cell, yelling: He got soft inside me! That's, like, the worst insult ever!
–23rd & 9th
Girl on cell: Come over to the 7-Eleven anytime. I will fuck you!
–Washington Square West
Overheard by: David Fishkind
Brunching woman to friends: We lived in Buffalo! We could have had sex on the sidewalk, but it was four years before we were engaged!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Alexandra
Yuppie: I don’t google enough.
–F Train, 7th Ave
Overheard by: imaginexrach
Girl on cell: Not being on Facebook is ruining my life!
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: Asian Kid
Assistant on phone, about her 17-year-old daughter’s MySpace page: I find it interesting that she and her friend Shannon have the same friend listed. Some 32-year-old guy in California named Tom!
–Office on 42nd & Madison
Overheard by: herspace
Man: I’m going to go home and e-mail some shameless bitches.
–8th St & Broadway
Grad student at computer, dolefully: Without right-click I just don’t know what to do with the world.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Old Russian man approaches teen girl and says something in Russian.
Teen girl: What?
Russian man: You don’t speak Russian?
Teen girl: No.
Russian man: Oh, well you want job?
Teen girl: No.
Russian man walks away.
Girl’s mom: I think he wanted to hire you for an escort service.
–Sheepshead Bay train station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Waiting for the bus
