Four-year-old boy: I'm sexy.
Mother: No, you're handsome.
Four-year-old boy: I'm sexy!
Mother: No! You're handsome!
–D Train
Four-year-old boy: I'm sexy.
Mother: No, you're handsome.
Four-year-old boy: I'm sexy!
Mother: No! You're handsome!
–D Train
Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay!
–Astor Place
Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right?
–9th St, Park Slope
Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys?
–NYU
Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair.
–Peculier Pub, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Mad
Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play.
–Broadway
Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay!
–Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick!
–5th Ave, Park Slope
Son: Can I have a grape soda?
Mother: When you're 12.
Son: When I'm… 10?
Mother: When you brush you teeth better.
–49th St
Overheard by: Justin
Five-year-old child: Is this our stop, mommy?
Mother: No sweetie, this is the ghetto. Never get off here.
(two people sitting across give them dirty looks as they leave the train)
–Metro-North, Harlem
Overheard by: getting off at the 125th street stop
Little girl playing video game: I’m shooting fish.
Mom: Stop talking retarded.
Little girl playing video game: But I’m supposed to shoot the fish!
–Queens Center Mall
Daughter: But mom, I don’t like the chicken.
Mother: Sorry, honey, not everything can be McDonald’s.
Headline by: Snowy in Seattle
Runners-Up:
· “Hates the chicken, but loves the cock” – Humberto
· “Hookers on “Take Your Daughter to Work Day”” – Krisztina
· “Just give George Bush one more term…” – Noh
· “M.A.F.D.- Mothers Against Fat Daughters” – L Friz
· “McDonlads is the only thing that doesn’t taste like chicken” – Babakganoosh
· “So shut up and eat the rest of your Meow Mix” – remark
Woman to ten-year-old daughter: And then we'll go to the cemetery to visit nana.
Four-year-old son: Can I come to the cemetery, too?!
Woman: No.
Four-year-old son, defiantly: Well, you're not going to see nana anyway. You're just going to see her grave!
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Rachel C.
Mother: Honey, your dress is just too low. I know you don’t mean to, but when you wear things that show that much of you, you attract the wrong kind of men.
Scary Mexican man sitting across: Oh honey, you definitely do.
(girl hastily pulls her dress up)
–1 Train
Overheard by: Anna
A two year old Chinese girl decided to squat on a manhole cover.
Chinese Mom: What are you doing?! That will warm up your butt and it will burst into flames!
–66th & Columbus
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Old White man: I have never seen a mother treat a child in such a way.
Latina mother: Dude. You don’t even want to fuck around with a crazy bitch from the Bronx.
–4/5 train
Overheard by: Taryn
