Thug #1: … And I was like, ‘Damn, baby. I just bought you some pizza, we’re about to see a movie — is it really imperative that I buy you the Justin Timberlake CD so you can listen to it tonight?’
Thug #2: I know what you mean dog. My girl was beggin’ me to buy her that new Akon shit.
Thug #1: Why can’t bitches just be happy?
–116th St station
Gym chick #1: I ran a whole half-hour today.
Gym chick #2: A whole half-hour?
Gym chick #1: Yeah, you know why? ‘Cause Star Wars was on and it was so good I couldn’t stop watching.
–YMCA, Park Slope
Overheard by: Jedi Master
Teen girl: The Notebook was mad sad! I cried.
Teen boy: What is it about?
Teen girl: I forgot.
–1 train
Black guy: And in this movie, Leonardo DiCaprio was the most selfless guy ever — all he cared about was money.
–Jackson Hole, 91st & Madison
20-something exasperated chick on cell: It’s a little something I call the hundred and fifty bucks I have to pay once a year! It’s a little something called my rent!
–W 10th & Waverly
Overheard by: I call it that too
Geek: Have you ever pictured someone swimming in a pool of money? Do you know how much that would hurt?
–54th & 10th
Overheard by: Allisa
Mom to little daughter picking up garbage: Don’t pick up stuff off the street… unless it’s money.
–14th & 2nd
Suit: … And they find him in Brussels with one million dollars in his suitcase.
–Chambers & West Side Hwy
Overheard by: Mike McG
Conductor: Attention, passengers, the power for this line has shorted out. Track workers are coming down to reset the breaker. We should be delayed for 15 to 20 minutes. A buck fifty — you get what you pay for.
–PATH train, stuck under the Hudson
VP: I certainly don’t want you to think it’s all about money, because it’s not — it’s mostly about money.
–Office, Park Ave South
Angry black woman to white man close behind her: Son, you got a lotta ass on yo’ dick right now.
–Dense crowd, 4th & 6th
Overheard by: jealous?
Guy to friends: I’m not a one-ass guy, even if it is my own ass.
–26th & 8th
Large black man: I’m grabbin’ booties, so all y’all better move outta my way!
–37th & 7th
Overheard by: daniel
Ghetto fab guy: Well, tickle my ass an’ call me Mary Poppins…
–85th & 2nd
Overheard by: Mitorizu
Dude: My ass likes to eat things.
–76th & Broadway
Overheard by: Hew, the bird
Suit: Now there’s an ass you could rest a loaf of bread on!
–Time Square
Crazy preacher: Lust is a sin. Women, don’t show your butts to men — cover them up, or the seven last plagues will cover them up for you.
–6 train
Overheard by: Zavreio
Dude #1: Whoa, this year is double-oh-seven.
Dude #2: That’s so freaking cool.
Chick: I don’t get it. How is that cooler than last year being double-oh-six?
Dude #1: Because Alec Trevelyan was a dick.
Dude #2: … Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
–Carlyle Court, 25 Union Square West
NYU student #1: Ew! That movie was like porn!
NYU student #2: I don’t know why we watched that in class!
NYU student #3: Disgusting!
–Outside lecture hall, Silver Center
Female student #1: I feel bad for Czar Nicholas, because not only did he get overthrown and exiled, but Rasputin came in while he was gone and messed up his whole country.
Female student #2: What, you mean like in Anastasia?
Female student #1: No, I mean in, like, real life. The movie was based off real life.
Female student #2: Wait, you mean Rasputin was real?
–Bleecker & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Andrew
Dude #1: … And it had this sort of feeling like the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Dude #2: What’s the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
Dude #1: It’s, ummm… The Rocky Hor— Hmmm. It’s, ummm… It’s just like Star Wars but for transvestites.
–10th St, between 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Eli… NYU design dude
Chick #1: She’s never seen Titanic or The Godfather.
Chick #2: That’s why she can’t get laid.
–LaGuardia
