Dude in shorts: I love seeing how many people I can touch in the mornings.
–2 train at 72nd St
Overheard by: drendar
Dude in shorts: I love seeing how many people I can touch in the mornings.
–2 train at 72nd St
Overheard by: drendar
Ghetto guy: Yo, can I getcha number?
Girl: Umm, no, this is my boyfriend.
Girl leans in to kiss gay friend.
Ghetto guy: Oh, ok, sorry. I didn’t know.
Gay friend: Girl, if I wasn’t gay before, I sure as hell am now!
–1 train
Little girl: Where does the H train go, mommy?
Mom: There is no H train.
Little girl: I train?
Mom: No I train either.
Little girl: J train? Where does the J train go?
Mom: To Brooklyn. [Pause] Nowhere we’d ever go.
–F train, between West 4th & 14th
Male pick-up artist: Are you from France?
Girl: No. I’m from Long Island!
–uptown 1 train
Overheard by: Giuseppe
Commuter dude #1: The cars on this line feel smaller.
Commuter dude #2: Yeah, it’s like they’re narrower by just a bit or something.
Commuter dude #1: Oh wait; I think people are just fatter.
–1 train, Upper West Side
Loud tourist on silent train: Oh my god. My hands are so dirty from being in Chinatown. This city is the dirtiest place on the planet. If you stuck my hands in a big-ass petri dish, you better believe there would be some monstrous germs on there the next day. Ew, Chinatown smells so bad. Like rotten fish. Why is it so hot here? God, no one in Chinatown has air conditioning. My pits are so smelly. Ugh, I stink. But not worse than Chinatown.
–6 train uptown, Canal St
Girl #1: I can’t wait until we move to Brooklyn Heights. It’s the part of Brooklyn that says, “I’m an adult, not a hipster.”
Girl #2: You mean, it’s the part that says, “I can afford to live in Manhattan, I just don’t want to.”
–6 train downtown
Guy: My eye won’t stop twitching.
Girl: Maybe you should have thought of that before you wiped sarin on the counter. Oh, oops, I just realized that the subway is a bad place to talk about work.
–E train
Conductor: To all the men on the train, Happy Father’s Day. And to all the ladies on the train who wear two hats, Happy Father’s Day to you, too.
–1 train
Overheard by: Eli Feldblum
Girl #1: So it’s my beer pong table, right? If we ever break up, I get the table?
Guy: Well, half of it.
Girl #1: Noo! If you’re going to cut it in half, you can have it. I don’t want to see the table ruined. I care about beer pong that much.
Girl #2: Wow, it’s like the Judgment of Solomon.
–1 train
Overheard by: djlindee
