Crazy guy, yelling: Macaroni and cheese! [No one responds.] With chocolate mousse on top! [No one responds.] Mashed potatoes and gravy! [No one responds.] George Bush is bringing peace to the world through strength and diplomacy!
Woman: Shut up!
–uptown 6 train
Overheard by: the fashionatrix
Indian guy: Hey, what country are you from?
Asian girl: Tibet.
Indian guy: So you live in Tokyo?
–F Train
Guy #1: Wait a sec, what train is this? What am I on?
Guy #2: I’m on your mom. That’s what I’m on.
–D train
Old lady: Why would anyone ever want to move to Queens?
–R train
Overheard by: mo
Suit on cell: Yeah, I know. Did I tell you about the dominatrix?
–49th & 7th
Little girl, to her mother: But why is the mummy all tied up?
–Egyptian Wing, the Met
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Hipster woman: So I think my father is into kiddie porn.
–UCBT, 26th & 8th
Overheard by: Tobster
Dude, to his female date: So, do you like to do anal? Come on, you can be honest. You’ve already blown me.
—Calle Ocho, 81st & Columbus
Overheard by: Sara
Girl: I like you. Just not in a toe-up-the-ass way.
–1 train
Overheard by: i like toes
Cute guy: I mean, shit. I was in a threesome with him. He has no right to judge me.
–34th & 8th
Girl: Whatever, it’s disgusting. I mean, you can cum in my butt but not in my vag.
–Q train
Woman: I have sex in my vagina, not in my bottom!
–Prospect Park
Asian valley chick: So, I bought this shirt? And it was like…it was like…it was like, a shirt? And it was really cool.
–N train
Two 12 year olds knock into a business woman.
Woman: Don’t you say excuse me?
12 year old #1: Shut the fuck up, bitch, ’cause I got my balls in your mouth.
Woman: But… but…
12 year old #2: Aww, bitch, you better shut up, ’cause he’s got his balls in your mouth.
–uptown 4 train
Overheard by: DVI
Construction Worker: Stop pushing me! I just want to drink my beer! [He takes a big sip through a straw.] Ahhh! That hit the spot. Better than any cup of coffee, I tell ya!
–uptown B train at 8:45 am
Overheard by: pants
Old-lady candy-pusher: I be sellin’ candy for the school. I have M&Ms and Jujyfruits and Almond Joy with and without the nuts.
Drunken gay guy: Nobody wants your candy. It probably has razor blades in it and shit. Just go away.
Old-lady candy-pusher: Look at you talkin’. You are the anti man!
–downtown 2 train
Overheard by: Stefanie
