Blonde preteen with braces: You know what’s so weird? She’s black and converted to Judo-ism.
Friend: [annoyed stare] It’s Judaism.
Blonde: Potato, tomato. It’s all the same.
–7 train
Overheard by: your mom
Blonde preteen with braces: You know what’s so weird? She’s black and converted to Judo-ism.
Friend: [annoyed stare] It’s Judaism.
Blonde: Potato, tomato. It’s all the same.
–7 train
Overheard by: your mom
Guy talking to his friends: She start talking about her “boyfriend.” I’m all, “Fuck that! I ain’t tryin’ to hear about your ‘boyfriend!’ Your boyfriend all that, how come you here with me? How come your ‘boyfriend’ ain’t with you now, bitch? How come he ain’t helping you move?”
–F train
An Israeli guy is reading a newspaper in Hebrew.
Kid: What language is that? Russian or something?
Israeli guy: No, it’s Hebrew. It might look a little like Russian, but you read it from right to left
Kid: Really? That must be hard.
–3 train
Man: I can’t believe how many immigrants there are.
Woman: Send ’em all back, what do I care.
Man: Isn’t, like, your mom an immigrant? We all came from immigrants, you know.
Woman: Wah wah, send ’em back.
–D train, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Young guy #1: So are you doing anything for Cinco de Mayo?
Young guy #2: Uh, I guess I’ll just go out like regular.
Young guy #1: Yeah, that’s cool.
Young guy #2: Actually, one of my friends knows a ton of Puerto Rican people, so that’ll be good.
Young guy #1: Um…yeah…
–6 train
Overheard by: Saltman
Girl: So did you guys end up having sex last night?
Guy: No, we had Chinese food.
–6 train
Overheard by: Talia
Mother: You know that she has learning disabilities, right? You know what it means when someone has a learning disability?
Eight-year-old girl: I should get myself a lawyer. No one ever tells me anything.
–1 train from 86th
Overheard by: David Lock
Drunk guy: Exuse me, miss, do you see that woman over there?
Miss: Yes?
Drunk guy: She looks horrible in that dress, don’t you think?
Miss: Um. . .
Drunk guy: If she were my wife I would not let her wear that out of the house!
–2 train
Overheard by: Violeta
Hipster #1: But look how easy it is to pick out the tourists. I mean, look, there’s a tourist. There’s a tourist. It’s so frickin’ easy to tell who belongs here and who doesn’t.
Hipster #2: Yeah, like why don’t they even try to blend in while they’re here? It’s like they’re trying to be Greek when they’re in Rome.
Hipster #1 is totally lost.
Hipster #2: You know, ’cause when you’re in Rome, you’re supposed to act Roman.
Hipster #1: Oh, I’ve never been to Italy.
–6 train
Overheard by: The tourist in their midst
Man whispering into cell phone: I heard that if you inject enough [mumblemumble]into his bloodstream, in a couple of hours, the coroner can’t tell the cause of death!
…Uh huh, uh huh
…I know, baby, I know.
…Yeah, I know. But baby, will you be my alibi?
–F train
Overheard by: catherinecanfly
