Girl #1: You know, I’ve always been interested in a relationship with my cat.
Girl #2: I think that’s illegal… pretty much everywhere.
Girl #1: So is giving your donkey weed, but here we are.
–A train
Girl #1: You know, I’ve always been interested in a relationship with my cat.
Girl #2: I think that’s illegal… pretty much everywhere.
Girl #1: So is giving your donkey weed, but here we are.
–A train
Guy #1: Everyone who has ever worked there has come back and robbed the place.
Guy #2: If it is that bad, you should call the Better Business Bureau.
Guy #1: All the owner does is comp her friends, do coke in the back, and think she is successful.
–F train
Overheard by: Ferris
Girl #1: Where is SUNY Geneseo?
Girls #2 and #3: Geneseo.
Girl #1: Right, but where’s that?
Girl #2: New York, it’s a SUNY.
Girl #1: Wait, all SUNYs are in New York?
Girl #3: It stands for State University of New York! How could you not know this?
Girl #1: What?! This is just like that time you tried to convince me Spain wasn’t in South America.
–L train
Girl #1: I told you I finally got that bag right? It was marked down to $200 and…
Guy: My god! Can you stop talking to me, your breath stinks!
Silence until they exit at 96th St.
Girl #2 to friend: Dang, guys are mad grimey these days. He coulda been a gentleman and offered the sista a stick of gum or something.
–1 train
Overheard by: Shea
Woman #1: And I told him, I mean, you wanna gamble, you got to go to Las Vegas or Atlantic City. You out there gamblin in Brooklyn where they don’t give you part credit if you part right.
Woman #2: Mmm hmmm.
Woman #1: They lost 10,000 in one day. If you in Las Vegas, at least it’s still a trip. Go outside and get on the roller coaster. Get some buffet. But if you in Brooklyn, you still in Brooklyn when you done gamblin.
–4/5 train
Conductor: This is 59th Street, Columbus Circle. Next Stop 72nd. Please use all available doors, folks. Please, use all available doors and walk to the center of the car. I’m talking to you, lady. Yeah, you in the purple standing by the door. Walk… in… to… the…. middle. Don’t give me that face, just get in the middle.
Woman in purple: Jesus! I’m switching cars. Fuck you, nigga!
The doors close.
Conductor: Haha, bitch.
–D train, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Conductor: Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be moving shortly. There is a police investigation taking place on this train. Have a nice day.
–F train
Overheard by: scittle
Chick: There are two types of men in this world. The type that would sleep with Paul Newman and the type that would sleep with Robert Redford, and they can’t be both. What are you?
Gay guy: Paul Newman
Chick: And you?
Asexual guy: Um…Paul Newman.
Silence.
Chick: Aren’t you going to ask me?
Gay guy: No, I don’t care.
Asexual guy: Me neither.
–F train, 2nd Ave
Blonde preteen with braces: You know what’s so weird? She’s black and converted to Judo-ism.
Friend: [annoyed stare] It’s Judaism.
Blonde: Potato, tomato. It’s all the same.
–7 train
Overheard by: your mom
Guy talking to his friends: She start talking about her “boyfriend.” I’m all, “Fuck that! I ain’t tryin’ to hear about your ‘boyfriend!’ Your boyfriend all that, how come you here with me? How come your ‘boyfriend’ ain’t with you now, bitch? How come he ain’t helping you move?”
–F train
