Teen girl #1: Bitches be dissin’ on Disney Channel.
Teen girl #2: Yeah.
Teen girl #1: But you know them bitches be runnin’ home to watch That’s So Raven.
Teen girl #2: It’s 7:15.
Teen girl #1: Shit, we gonna miss it.
–4 train
Overheard by: Noah Gallagher
Crazy lady: Does anyone know how to get to the fucking G train? I need to get to a fucking job interview at 6!
Man #1: I swear it’s really not like this all the time.
Woman: What kind of job is she going for?
Man #2: I hope it’s not customer service.
Man #3: Hey baby, just follow me. I’m getting on the G right now.
Crazy lady: Go suck a dead dog’s dick.
Man #3: So what’s that taste like?
Crazy lady: A dead dog’s dick.
–4 train
Girl #1: I can’t believe you hang out with that guy…All of your friends are such losers!
Girl #2: Well, I hang out with you, don’t I?
Girl #1: I think that proves my point more than it does yours.
–77th & Columbus
Chick #1: Well most of your friends are losers anyway. Who cares what they do?
Chick #2: No, one of them’s engaged.
–F train
Overheard by: Kira
Suit: When you’re 25 and you measure your hourly rate in three digits it takes a hell of a lot of grief to not make it worthwhile.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Gabriel Stempinski
Guy: Yeah, it’s like all three of our neurons are coming together right now.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Phe
Chick: My drama teacher said that she looked like she had been fed with a shovel as a child…He was my favorite teacher.
–1 train
Overheard by: Sidra Greene
Hipster girl #1: …So now I feel really uncomfortable whenever I’m around him.
Hipster girl #2: Why? ‘Cause you had dream sex with him?
–L train
Overheard by: master overhear-er
Crazy dude: Daffy Duck is my favorite character, but Walt Disney was an anti-Semite and I’m a Jew. I used to watch cartoons but someone stole my television.
Dude #2: Daffy Duck stole your television?
Crazy dude: No. Daffy Duck is my best friend.
–F train
Overheard by: Gunner
Teen girl #1: So I gave her her piece.
Teen girl #2: You gave her herpes?
Teen boy #1: No, she gave her her piece.
Teen girl #1: Of chocolate.
Teen girl #2: Ha, ha, ha! “Gave her herpes.” Her piece.
Teen boy #1: Herpes chocolate!
Teen girl #2: Knock, knock.
Teen boy #1: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes.
Teen boy #1: Herpes who?
Teen girl #2: Her piece of chocolate!…Hey, Milton! Knock, knock!
Teen boy #2: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes!…Milton, you have to say, “herpes who?”!
Teen boy #2: No.
Teen girl #2: You suck, Milton!
Teen girl #1: No, you suck.
Old woman: That’s true.
–1 train
WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.
–A train
Overheard by: Lia
