The Last Word

Teen girl #1: So I gave her her piece.
Teen girl #2: You gave her herpes?
Teen boy #1: No, she gave her her piece.
Teen girl #1: Of chocolate.
Teen girl #2: Ha, ha, ha! “Gave her herpes.” Her piece.
Teen boy #1: Herpes chocolate!
Teen girl #2: Knock, knock.
Teen boy #1: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes.
Teen boy #1: Herpes who?
Teen girl #2: Her piece of chocolate!…Hey, Milton! Knock, knock!
Teen boy #2: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes!…Milton, you have to say, “herpes who?”!
Teen boy #2: No.
Teen girl #2: You suck, Milton!
Teen girl #1: No, you suck.
Old woman: That’s true.

–1 train

Posted on April 7, 2006
Food, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Should've Used a Condom, STDs, Stupidity, Teens

Wednesday One-liners Eat Wedding Cake

WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.

–A train

Overheard by: Lia

Posted on April 5, 2006
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crime and Punishment, Etiquette, Fashion, Food, Kink, Manhattan, Marriage, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Shopping, Stupidity, Suits, Trains Not Subway, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Yuppies

Wednesday One-liners Need an Adapter

Girl: Do you know they make cameras without film now?

–L train

Posted on April 5, 2006
Asians, Body Parts, College, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Nerds, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Pop Culture, Stupidity, Suits, Upper East Side, Video Games, Violence

Rapunzel’s Wednesday One-liners

Bag lady: Hey, you guys, can you help me out? I’m really hungry!…You need a dye job, you know! Your roots are showing.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Drew

Posted on April 5, 2006
Anger Management, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Fordham, Friendship, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Hobos, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Pop Culture, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Staten Island, Stupidity, The Bronx, Times Square, TV, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-liners Will Cost You

Woman: So they’re paying the kidnappers child support? I mean I know they want to support their child, but where is the money going? To those crazy people.

–L train

Overheard by: Kelly Marie

Posted on April 5, 2006
Brooklyn, Crime and Punishment, Etiquette, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Kink, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Poop, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wednesday One-liners Use the Blue Parking

Teen girl: So I read that article and cried and cried until my Mom was
like, “Stop crying. You’re retarded.”

–1 train

Posted on April 5, 2006
Arts & Letters, Body Parts, Books & Writing, College, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex & Relationships, Sports, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Violence

It’s Too Bad He’s Dead Now

Girl #1: Foods do not make attractive accessories…We are not a society of Homer Simpsons
Girl #2: Homer didn’t have food accessories.
Girl #1: But don’t you think he’d have liked them?

–L train

Overheard by: Kitty

Posted on April 4, 2006
Fashion, Food, Money & Class, On the Subway, Pop Culture, Shopping, TV

Gorgons Make Men Hard

Man: You could turn people to stone with your eyes.
Girl: Dude, there are lots of other people on this train, go hit on someone else.
Man: I know, but you’re the closest and I don’t want to move because I have to pee.

–2 train

Posted on April 3, 2006
Anger Management, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Poop

She’s Blinded by That Bright Light

Old lady: Excuse me, where is the exit?
Cop: Just follow the signs.
Old lady: I’m following the signs and I don’t know where I’m going.

–Times Square station

Overheard by: So K

Posted on March 31, 2006
Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, Times Square, Tourists

She’s Getting Surgery Slash Amputation

Drunk chick #1: Dude julia, I just totally stuck my face slash mouth on this pole.
Drunk chick #2: Ew.
Drunk chick #1: Oh, by the way, how are your antibiotics going?
Drunk chick #2: Uh, not so good.

–1 train

Posted on March 31, 2006
Drinking & Drunk People, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway

On the Subway