Conductor: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Would Isaiah Santiago please step off the train? The police are waiting for you.
–1 train
Overheard by: gordon gartrell
Conductor: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Would Isaiah Santiago please step off the train? The police are waiting for you.
–1 train
Overheard by: gordon gartrell
Girl: I guess I know a couple people up at Sarah Lawrence who work, but I don’t know why anyone would want a job in college.
Guy: Yeah, working’s for public college kids anyway.
–C train
Guy: Is that an iPod?
Girl: No, it’s a gaydar.
–D train
Girl #1: That’s so funny. I’ve always said, “That would be two of us.” So how do you use it?
Girl #2: “That would behoove us.”…Well, you don’t use it that way. You say “of”. “That would be hoove of us.” As in, that would be smart of us.
–Q train
Overheard by: Morgan
Teen boy: Somewhere out there…someone is getting laid.
–Empire State Building
Suit on cell: Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to you? Listen, you and I both know there are “no nice little neighborhoods” in Queens!
–11th Street & 4th Avenue
Overheard by: jayKayEss
Woman on cell: Caviar? Nigga, ain’t no caviar in Harlem.
–57th & 8th
Girl: Did you see those capris? They looked like the girl had her vagina on sideways!
–Windsor Terrace
Conductor: …Transfer available here to the F, V, N, Q, R and W. Next stop: New Jersey. Stand clear of the closing doors.
–B train
Overheard by: comicgirl
Woman: Well, he should just get over it. Who doesn’t have a mother who died?
–MOMA cafeteria
Overheard by: Deborah Freeman
