Girl #1: What can we do tomorrow?
Girl #2: I found a place that makes great Mimosas at lunch time. We get get drunk at noon and then sober up before we have to babysit.
–D train
Overheard by: Kirk
Girl #1: What can we do tomorrow?
Girl #2: I found a place that makes great Mimosas at lunch time. We get get drunk at noon and then sober up before we have to babysit.
–D train
Overheard by: Kirk
A kid is trying to get bubblegum off his face.
Kid #1: Yo, you know you can use an ice cube to get that off.
Kid #2: Where the fuck am I supposed to get an ice cube now? Besides, how’s that gonna help?
Kid #1: Dumbass. When the gum is cold it’s not sticky anymore. Haven’t you ever chewed gum in the shower?
–Uptown 6 train
Overheard by: Bert
Voice over employee's walkie-talkie: Okay, I really need those guns. Anyone who has one, I need it down in bridal.
–Bed Bath & Beyond
Obnoxious woman: So I said, "motherfucker, I'm not your sister–I'm your cousin. So I will shoot you."
–Uptown 2 Train
Large black man: If you ain't got no bullets, you gotsta melee!
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Zach
Wannabe hip-hopper, trying to sell CD: It's clean music, and I ain't never shot no one!
–Union Square
20-something guy on cell: They got no right to bring up that gun charge, it's over ten years old!
–19th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emily Davidson
Dude, after chatting to policewoman: I just have a thing for women in uniform! My mind says, "no, no, settle down," and my penis says, "but she's got a gun!"
–Hudson & Laight
Mexican lady: Simpsons Movie, five dollars.
Young boy: Look, Dad The Simpsons Movie…
Dad: If you don’t shut the fuck up about The Simpsons Movie, I’m gonna throw you in front of the goddamn train!
–5 train
Overheard by: ARi
Hobo: Give me a dollar or I’ll curse you!
Tourist: No. Get a job.
Hobo: Fuck you! There, I cursed you.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Deb
Old white husband: What are lamb chops?
Old black wife: I used to buy them for dinner all the time.
Old white husband: What are they?
Old black wife: I used to buy them for you!
Old white husband: I don’t remember, tell me what they are.
Old black wife: They’re like pork chops, but made out of lamb.
–D train
Overheard by: daniela
Girl: Why don’t you ever invite me to the dorms?
Guy: ‘Cause if you wanna come, you should ask.
Girl: Well, do you want me to come over?
Guy: If I don’t have to study, yeah.
Girl: Well then you should invite me!
Guy: Why?
Girl: ‘Cause it would make me happy!
Guy: What the hell do I care?
Girl: Well, you wouldn’t go down on me if you didn’t want me to be at least pleased.
Guy: That…is probably the best argument you could have made.
Girl: I’m so glad no one speaks English on this train.
–1 train
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Guy #1: Yeah, but you have a girlfriend.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she needs to lose weight.
Guy #1: Hmm, well how much weight do you think she needs to lose?
Guy #2: About 40 pounds. She says to me, “Why don’t we make love anymore?” and I’m like, “Why the hell do you think?”.
–2 train
Thug #1: I’m going to beat the shit out of you like the Incredible Hulk, except I’m going to turn purple instead of green.
Thug #2: No, you’re not. You’re going to turn pink because you’re a pussy!
–Bronx-bound D train
Overheard by: Maria Endrinal
Little white boy: Will someone tell him that the Indians were playing the Yankees the other day!!?
Little Indian boy: Will someone tell him that Indians don’t play baseball? I should know, I’m Indian!
–2 train
