Teenage boy, making out with girlfriend: Did you know my mom and I are only 15 years apart?
Teenage girlfriend: No way, that must have been really hard.
Teenage boy: No, it's good to be a young mom.
(making out resumes)
–7 Train
Headline by: Botticus
Runners-Up:
· “I’ll Show You in 9 Months” – Sandy Paws
· “In Fact, It’s Bit Of a Family Tradition” – Traditionalist
· “Please Tell Me This Isn’t What Inspired Gilmore Girls” – katenonymous
· “Psychologists Call This “Priming”” – chuck
Conductor: Borough Hall. Next stop, Heaven…excuse me, Nevins.
Woman: Um, should I get off here?
–5 train
Overheard by: James
Girl: But she’s so pretty.
Guy: So are you! And she’s not that pretty.
Girl: No… Really?
Guy: Well, she’s a whore.
Girl: I’m pretty?
–1 train
Overheard by: She’s not actually pretty
Male grad student #1: So, I got an email from my teacher today.
Male grad student #2: Oh, yeah?
Male grad student #1: Yeah… She thinks I’m a good teacher.
Male grad student #2: Oh… So nothing about…?
Male grad student #1: No, nothing about my gorgeous smile or sparkling personality.
Male grad student #2: Oh.
Male grad student #1: She totally wants me. I can tell.
–A train, between 42nd & 50th St
Overheard by: laurs
Overloud teenager #1: You know what I figured out? All this shit we’re listening to now… When we’re older that shit’s gonna be old school.
Overloud teenager #2: Huh?
Overloud teenager #1: That Fitty track. When we’re… older and shit, it’s gonna be old school. Shit’s gonna be old school.
Overloud teenager #2: I don’t get it.
–Uptown 1 Train
Dude: Do you think if I had a tail I’d be happy?
Girl: I’m just going to sit here quietly and ponder the ridiculousness of that statement.
Random guy: …Didn’t you steal that line from Arrested Development?
Girl: Yeah, so?
Random guy: Well, if you’re going to make fun of him for being an idiot, he should at least get to make fun of you for being a plagiarist.
–C train
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Young boy: Daddy! We're going outside soon, yay!
Father: No we're not. We're going over the g line, we'll have to go to Hoyt Street underground, then switch to the f. Then we'll go outside.
Young boy: Why, daddy?
Father: Because it's the MTA.
–F Train
Overheard by: marc V
Guy: Hey, you look pretty…
Girl: Fuck off!
Guy: Don't interrupt…pretty ugly.
–C Train
Girl #1: It’s official: I’m lactose intolerant.
Girl #2: Oh. So?
Girl #1: Well, I had a pasta for lunch in cream sauce. My stomach ain’t having any of it.
Girl #2: It’s coming outta ya?
Girl #1: Yes, Einstein.
Girl #2: All glooby globby?
Girl #1: Do you really have to do that?
Girl #2: Ha, ha, ha. You love it.
–6 train
Overheard by: Erika Thompson
Decently dressed man, who doesn't look like he needs a quarter: Does anyone have a quarter? Does anyone have a quarter?
(no response, he sits down)
Decently dressed man, sounding like radio announcer: You're listening to power 105… Power 105… You've got the power… Power 105… Power 105…
(lights cigarette, and begins standing on one foot in center of car with his arms stretched out)
Little girl to father: Wow, daddy… He's good!
–6 Train
Overheard by: johnnytomatoes
