Latin guy behind deli counter: Do you need anything else, ma?
Crazy white lady: Don't call me “ma”! I'm not black, I'm not Spanish! I'm American!
–Key Foods, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Latin guy behind deli counter: Do you need anything else, ma?
Crazy white lady: Don't call me “ma”! I'm not black, I'm not Spanish! I'm American!
–Key Foods, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Hipster girl, clearly on first date: So what do you do?
Hipster guy, in deadpan voice: I'm an animal trainer for the circus.
(unbearably long pause)
Hipster girl: Wow.
–The Gate, Park Slope
Girl: Lisa went down on me while I was on my period. I decided just to roll with it.
–Frying Pan Bar
Professor: Let's all go home and menstruate! My goal in this class is to get all of you on the same schedule.
–NYU
Overheard by: Leslie
Upscale female suit on cell: I'm totally on the rag, but you can still lick my asshole.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: The Trooper
Gay guy on cell: I'm so cranky, I feel like I'm a girl who's on her period and pregnant.
–Park Ave & 29th St
Big black guy, loudly on phone: Why you bitchin at me because I won't cleeeeen behind you? I'm not gonna clean your nasty period ass offa the toilet! (nearby people begin laughing) Bitch, even the people on the streets be laughing at you!
–123rd St & Manhattan Ave
Little kid: You never take me anywhere!
Mom: How can you say that to me? We went to the Prospect Park Zoo last weekend. You've been to Disney World!
Little kid: You never took me to the Twin Towers.
Mom: 9/11 happened two weeks before you were born.
Little kid: See!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Girl: Happy 4th of July!
Boyfriend: Why are you so happy about it? You're not American.
Girl: I am too, I was born here!
Boyfriend: I'm waaaay more American than you.
Girl: What, you think Puerto Ricans came over on the Mayflower?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Ebullient cashier: Good morning, sir!
Yuppie, trying to control his two rambunctious children: What's so fucking good about it?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Overheard by: Thinking the same thing
Wannabe hipster: Do you guys like music?
Guys: Yeah.
Wannabe hipster: Then lemme give you a copy of my CD.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: alerns
Ditzy but slightly nerdy girl to bored guy: His idea of free time was spending it with people.
Bored guy: Yeah…
Ditzy girl: But my idea of free time is, like, books…
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: maremare
NYU girl: It's a box, though… Can you FedEx a box?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Elena
Tourist: So… Are we like, underground now?
–NRW Train
Overheard by: Stacey
Mom in toy store: Do you guys have any organic play-doh?
–7th Ave & Garfield, Park Slope
Overheard by: persiangroove
Teen tourist bimbo, looking at Rockefeller Center Christmas tree Swarovski tree topper: So, can we buy it?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Kaitlen
20-something girl: Wait, so what's a blog?
–55th & 6th
Thug on bus on cell: Yeah, I just got on the bus. How will I know when it's the third stop?
(goes on to get off on the second stop)
–Roosevelt Island
20-something woman on cell: I fuck you, I get dinner. He fucks you, he gets a house!
–Washington Square
Girl: Earthquakes come every ten years, and it's not that bad. It's not like your house goes down or something.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: mia
Excited kindergartner: We played house and then we played going to the co-op!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Elderly man to another: People are gonna kill people, they just need to do it in their own house.
–Austin St & 77th Ave
20-something: So yeah, we used to hang out in elementary school. He'd come over my house, kinda like a "whose cock is bigger?" kinda thing.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: AnnaBanana
