Younger sister: Carrie! Carrie! Carrie! I saw Justin Bieber over there!
Older sister: Justin Bieber sucks.
Younger sister: Yeah, Justin Bieber sucks…
–Park Slope
Younger sister: Carrie! Carrie! Carrie! I saw Justin Bieber over there!
Older sister: Justin Bieber sucks.
Younger sister: Yeah, Justin Bieber sucks…
–Park Slope
Guy: She *is* stupid. But in this unbelievably sexy way, so you don't even care.
–10th St & 3rd Ave
16-year-old black girl, about Shia LaBeouf: He's the sexiest white boy. I'm gonna rape his ass.
–Battery Park
Teen girl on cell: I would never have sexy mushrooms in front of my mom.
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: Scott
20-something girl on cell: Nah, I won't play second bitch! She's just mad because I always look nice and keep my sexy up.
–Park Slope
Latin guy behind deli counter: Do you need anything else, ma?
Crazy white lady: Don't call me “ma”! I'm not black, I'm not Spanish! I'm American!
–Key Foods, Park Slope, Brooklyn
Hipster girl, clearly on first date: So what do you do?
Hipster guy, in deadpan voice: I'm an animal trainer for the circus.
(unbearably long pause)
Hipster girl: Wow.
–The Gate, Park Slope
Girl: Lisa went down on me while I was on my period. I decided just to roll with it.
–Frying Pan Bar
Professor: Let's all go home and menstruate! My goal in this class is to get all of you on the same schedule.
–NYU
Overheard by: Leslie
Upscale female suit on cell: I'm totally on the rag, but you can still lick my asshole.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: The Trooper
Gay guy on cell: I'm so cranky, I feel like I'm a girl who's on her period and pregnant.
–Park Ave & 29th St
Big black guy, loudly on phone: Why you bitchin at me because I won't cleeeeen behind you? I'm not gonna clean your nasty period ass offa the toilet! (nearby people begin laughing) Bitch, even the people on the streets be laughing at you!
–123rd St & Manhattan Ave
Little kid: You never take me anywhere!
Mom: How can you say that to me? We went to the Prospect Park Zoo last weekend. You've been to Disney World!
Little kid: You never took me to the Twin Towers.
Mom: 9/11 happened two weeks before you were born.
Little kid: See!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Girl: Happy 4th of July!
Boyfriend: Why are you so happy about it? You're not American.
Girl: I am too, I was born here!
Boyfriend: I'm waaaay more American than you.
Girl: What, you think Puerto Ricans came over on the Mayflower?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Ebullient cashier: Good morning, sir!
Yuppie, trying to control his two rambunctious children: What's so fucking good about it?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Overheard by: Thinking the same thing
Wannabe hipster: Do you guys like music?
Guys: Yeah.
Wannabe hipster: Then lemme give you a copy of my CD.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: alerns
Ditzy but slightly nerdy girl to bored guy: His idea of free time was spending it with people.
Bored guy: Yeah…
Ditzy girl: But my idea of free time is, like, books…
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: maremare
