Man with facial hair: You can only really pull off a Fu Man Chu if you’re a cop, a gay porn star, or a pirate.
–Virgin Records, Times Square
Guy to his girlfriend: You are one hairy bastard
–78th & 1st
Man with facial hair: You can only really pull off a Fu Man Chu if you’re a cop, a gay porn star, or a pirate.
–Virgin Records, Times Square
Guy to his girlfriend: You are one hairy bastard
–78th & 1st
Suit to other suit: They drive it through the city in milk trucks so that no one will know.
–6th between 55th & 56th
Overheard by: Ann M. Hetzel
Queer on cell: Sunday? Well, I hate to say this out loud on a cell phone where the authorities can hear, but. . . that’s Tonys night.
–Broadway & 33rd, Astoria
Overheard by: lily carver
Guy: I went to high school with you. I was a senior when you were a freshman. I used to look at your pantylines in gym class.
–Kevin St. James, 46th & 8th
Very old lady to husband: You asshole! YOU ASSHOLE! I hate you.
Old husband: Wha?
Old lady: You didn’t wait for me, you fucking asshole.
–Clearview Cinemas, 62nd & 1st
Eva Amurri to hipster companion: My father was telling me the dangers of aspartame — you know the stuff in Diet Coke? It’s like a sugar. It was once registered as a chemical weapon.
Hipster companion: Yeah?
Eva Amurri: If there is any way to become a superhero, it has to be by drinking Diet Coke.
[later]
Eva Amurri to hipster companion: I can’t remember how it ends… If he dies in a war or if Gatsby gets in a car crash, but he loves Daisy.
[later still]
Eva Amurri: Pasties are Band-Aids that only cover your nipples.
–Acela train leaving Penn Station
Overheard by: could you maybe namedrop your mom less, Miss Top-Volume-At-All-Times?
Nebraska girl #1: It feels like it’s raining.
Nebraska girl #2: I think it’s coming from the set.
Pause
Nebraska girl #3: Where’s it coming from?…Oh, it’s actually raining.
–John St., near filming of Spiderman 3
Overheard by: Fishy
Stoner #1: Yo, why did newsboys used to shout “Extra!” when they’d sell papers?
Stoner #2: I don’t know… maybe the news was about.. like… X-Men… like, mutants…
Stoner #1: Yeah… true… maybe.
–University & 8th
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Lady hobo: ‘ey, you got the Boys Gone Crazy?
Cashier Dude You mean Girls Gone Wild?
Lady hobo: Yeah man, girls gone crazy, whatever, it’ll do.
–Fantasy World, 7th Ave
Teen girl #1: Hey, can I borrow your Nirvana CD to burn? My iPod erased my mp3s.
Teen girl #2: I wish I had it! I like, traded it away for a pack of cigarettes.
Teen girl #1: Woah… that’s so, Kurt Cobain of you!
Teen girl #2: Hello. Totally why I did it.
–6 train
Hipster girl #1: Why would someone tell you that right after meeting you?
Hipster girl #2: Honestly, why can’t you just say your favorite movie is The Lord of the Rings instead of Lord of the Rings porn?
–Bedford & South 2nd, Williamsburg
Woman: No, I’m telling you, I’m right! He couldn’t eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit, and Trix were only supposed to be for kids.
Man: Well, I always thought it was just because he was a rabbit and not a person.
[A period of silence — the woman looks down at her food.]
Man: What’s wrong?
Woman: I’m just really getting tired of you always being wrong.
–Michael’s Restaurant, Broadway & 34th St, Astoria
