Hipster girl #1: I bet she had a frontal lobotomy.
Hipster girl #2: Really? I was thinking she might be slightly autistic.
Hipster girl #1: Maybe she’s just really happy.
–Court & Warren, Brooklyn
Hipster girl #1: I bet she had a frontal lobotomy.
Hipster girl #2: Really? I was thinking she might be slightly autistic.
Hipster girl #1: Maybe she’s just really happy.
–Court & Warren, Brooklyn
Belgian friend: Have you ever been to Belgium?
American friend: Yes. Five times.
Belgian friend: Really? Five times? What did you think of it?
American friend: It was beautiful, and the food was fantastic. But I noticed the people there looked so sad and depressed. Although I did see a certain pride in their faces…like they know they make great products.
Belgian friend, thoughtfully: Mmmm, yes. We do make great products.
–Joyce Theater, 19th & 8th
Overheard by: Shannon
Skater dude #1: I am mad smart, yo. My parents won’t even tell me my IQ. It’s so high they’re afraid to.
Skater dude #2: I seriously doubt that, man.
Skater dude #1: No, my sister’s way smart. She’s getting her Master’s degree, and my parents told me mine was higher than hers.
Skater dude #2: Dude, she could be smart but you could totally not be. It skips a generation.
Skater dude #1: Not in my family it doesn’t.
–3rd St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: eiaboca
Girl #1, showing Girl #2 a website: Look at how beautiful this place is; it’s in Rhode Island.
Girl #2: I love Rhode Island. I used to go there a lot.
Girl #3: Yuck, why would you go to Rhode Island? That’s where that mental institution is. Why would you want to go there?
Girl #2: No, Rhode Island is a state in our country. You mean Roosevelt Island, and that institution has been closed for, like, ever.
–W 77th St
Thug girl: Yeah, tell that bitch I’m crazy. I’m mad crazy, not that crazy on the train shit. I’m crazy goin’ ta’ jail shit.
–JHS 218, Brooklyn
Overheard by: jeff lebowski
Woman: But he’s so funny when he’s not having seizures.
–Delancey & Essex
Overheard by: Evan
Girl: I accidentally got on at the wrong station and my card says “just used.” Could you let me through?
MTA employee: You broke the rules. Do you think it’s okay to break the rules where you work?
Girl: I’m sorry?
MTA employee: Oh, you must think you’re special. Guess what? You’re not.
Girl: My mom says I’m special.
–Bergen St. subway, Brooklyn
Male intellectual: I was put in a mental hospital when I was fifteen. I still don’t know why. I asked a doctor at one point, “Why am I here?” and he said, “Don’t worry about it. You’re very mentally ill, and it will take you a long time to recover.” I said, “But what am I recovering from?” and he just said, “Don’t worry about it.” I still don’t know why I was there. The only reason I can think of is, I have a terrible temper.
Female intellectual: Yes, but sweetie, your temper? It’s abnormal. It’s not like a human temper. It’s insane.
Male intellectual: Well, maybe, but it’s not like I blew up the World Trade Center.
–Cafe Henri, Long Island City
Guy #1: So when I started telling him my feelings on the Iraq war, he rolled over to me in his wheelchair and started cursing me out. He was going on about his time in Vietnam and how there are things about war I’ll never understand.
Guy #2: That sucks.
Guy #1: I was like, “Whoa. You’re my shrink! I’m paying you to listen to me!”
Guy #2: Seriously.
Guy #1: Well, at least the co-pay was only $15. But anyway, I’m definitely not going back to him.
–Von, Bleecker & Elizabeth
Overheard by: Blondie
Guy #1: I really think African Americans are bipolar. They all seem to have high self esteem, are hyperactive all the time, and are easily irritable.
Guy #2: Shut up nigga. You know I’m better than those cats.
Guy #1: And they can never hear themselves talking.
–F train
Guy: So…did you make any resolutions for the new year?
Girl: Ummm…I had one…but…I forgot it.
Guy: You forgot it? How do you expect to follow through on it if you already forgot it before the new year even starts?
Girl: I think it had something to do with me being neurotic.
–Bamiyan, East 26th Street
Overheard by: Nik G