Girl #1, showing Girl #2 a website: Look at how beautiful this place is; it’s in Rhode Island.
Girl #2: I love Rhode Island. I used to go there a lot.
Girl #3: Yuck, why would you go to Rhode Island? That’s where that mental institution is. Why would you want to go there?
Girl #2: No, Rhode Island is a state in our country. You mean Roosevelt Island, and that institution has been closed for, like, ever.
–W 77th St
Thug girl: Yeah, tell that bitch I’m crazy. I’m mad crazy, not that crazy on the train shit. I’m crazy goin’ ta’ jail shit.
–JHS 218, Brooklyn
Overheard by: jeff lebowski
Woman: But he’s so funny when he’s not having seizures.
–Delancey & Essex
Overheard by: Evan
Girl: I accidentally got on at the wrong station and my card says “just used.” Could you let me through?
MTA employee: You broke the rules. Do you think it’s okay to break the rules where you work?
Girl: I’m sorry?
MTA employee: Oh, you must think you’re special. Guess what? You’re not.
Girl: My mom says I’m special.
–Bergen St. subway, Brooklyn
Male intellectual: I was put in a mental hospital when I was fifteen. I still don’t know why. I asked a doctor at one point, “Why am I here?” and he said, “Don’t worry about it. You’re very mentally ill, and it will take you a long time to recover.” I said, “But what am I recovering from?” and he just said, “Don’t worry about it.” I still don’t know why I was there. The only reason I can think of is, I have a terrible temper.
Female intellectual: Yes, but sweetie, your temper? It’s abnormal. It’s not like a human temper. It’s insane.
Male intellectual: Well, maybe, but it’s not like I blew up the World Trade Center.
–Cafe Henri, Long Island City
Guy #1: So when I started telling him my feelings on the Iraq war, he rolled over to me in his wheelchair and started cursing me out. He was going on about his time in Vietnam and how there are things about war I’ll never understand.
Guy #2: That sucks.
Guy #1: I was like, “Whoa. You’re my shrink! I’m paying you to listen to me!”
Guy #2: Seriously.
Guy #1: Well, at least the co-pay was only $15. But anyway, I’m definitely not going back to him.
–Von, Bleecker & Elizabeth
Overheard by: Blondie
Guy #1: I really think African Americans are bipolar. They all seem to have high self esteem, are hyperactive all the time, and are easily irritable.
Guy #2: Shut up nigga. You know I’m better than those cats.
Guy #1: And they can never hear themselves talking.
–F train
Guy: So…did you make any resolutions for the new year?
Girl: Ummm…I had one…but…I forgot it.
Guy: You forgot it? How do you expect to follow through on it if you already forgot it before the new year even starts?
Girl: I think it had something to do with me being neurotic.
–Bamiyan, East 26th Street
Overheard by: Nik G
Girl: So we were all really drunk one night and someone said we should all drink our blood.
Guy: Oh yeah?
Girl: So we cut ourselves and dripped blood into this cup and passed it around. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen…we were really drunk.
Guy: That’s really not good. That’s really bad.
Girl: …But we were really drunk.
–Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street
Overheard by: jesse kay
Crazy man: Psychology that! You know how to fuck the devil, but you don’t know how to use your fuckin’ mind!
–St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Leela Corman
Lady #1: Did Simon really sleep with his sister?
Lady #2: No, he was just hallucinating.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Mhla
