Girl to friend: How come this Saks store doesn't say “Saks Fifth Avenue” like the rest?
Friend: Dude, cause we're on Fifth Avenue!
–5th Ave
Hipster #1: What’s up with her? Is she a Lesbian?
Hipster #2: Well, she is Canadian.
–The Mountain Goats Show, Europa, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Becca
Guy #1: Sam better on his way to this meeting too.
Guy #2: Let me call the office and check if he’s left yet…Sam, what’s up, man? Where are you?
–E train
Woman: I think she’s Russian. No wait, I think she is from Tennessee, yeah she’s like this poor girl from Tennessee. So anyways, she goes to the Hamptons… Wait now I remember, she is from Utah; she’s Mormon. That’s it. So she goes to the Hamptons and meets this guy…
Man: Wait a minute, what’s a Russian Mormon doing in the Hamptons?
Woman, annoyed: [groan]
–Whole Foods Columbus Circle
Subway announcement: The next l train is now arriving on the Manhattan bound track.
Midwest tweaker, to no one in particular: Boo-yah! Buh-buh-buh boo-yah! (blows snot rocket onto subway tracks) The l train? What the fuck is that?
–Bedford L Train
Overheard by: Ben Graney
White hipster #1: Yeah, I just moved into a place in Bushwick. I’m the only black guy for, like, five miles.
Other white hipsters stare at him.
White hipster #1: What?
–Yale Club, Vanderbilt Ave
Female security guard: That was Jim Jones.
Male security guard: Jim Jones?
Female security guard: Jim Jones, he sings “Pop Champagne.”
Male security guard: Jim Jones? That's that cult guy, down in uh… Guyana.
–MTV Lobby
Teen #1, peeing against side of building: Oh, shit. Now everyone’s getting out of the concert. Can anyone see me?
Teen #2: Come on, man, don’t be shy. Everyone wants to meet you. You’re practically a celeb.
Teen #1, still peeing: I’m so not going to be your friend sophomore year.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: Concertgoer
Obese black man #1 playing loud obscene rap song: What she looking at? (points to two old Russian women at the front of bus) Man, these white people. Don't they know this is a free fuckin' country?
Obese black man #2: Yeah, I'm tellin you, now that Obama's elected, white people are gonna know what the fuck's up.
–Q63 Bus
Overheard by: filemeunder
Fat creepster: Where you goin’, girl?
Terrified blonde: … Home?
Fat creepster: Have a nice cunt! Oh, day! I mean ‘day’!
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Freudian Slip
