Questions

Lady looking at cellphone: Oh, it has free nationwide service. That means I can call anywhere in the world for free?
Boyfriend: No. Just in the nation.
Lady: Oh.

–Sprint Store, 42 & 6th

Magician, after doing awesome trick: Well, do you believe in magic now?
Crowd: Yeah!
Magician: Really? Well, then you might just as well believe in Jesus.

–NYU

Woman #1: Did you tell your friends about my constipation?
Woman #2: No, I didn't, they wouldn't appreciate it.

–79 & 3rd

Construction worker #1: You gonna climb that pole?
Construction worker #2: Yeah, you wanna know why?
Construction worker #1: Why?
Construction worker #2: Because I have penis and a set of testicles!

–State & 13th St

20-something guy #1: So would you fuck Oprah?
20-something guy #2: What? No. Why?
20-something guy #1: Well, I thought you might. Cause you like black chicks, right? And you like fat chicks…I thought you'd be down for a fat black chick.
20-something guy #2: Hell no. You gotta keep the fat ones white.

–C Train

Overheard by: So make sure to wash them with bleach.

College girl to friend: I think my problem is I'm too independent.
Friend: Didn't you just move back in with your parents?
College girl: Yeah, but I'm planning on moving out in a year or two.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Karl

Person #1: Hey, remember that Brazilian au pair I told you about?
Person #2: Yes?
Person #1: Turns out it was a guy.

–E Train

Girlfriend to boyfriend, while eating ice cream: You know what I love?
Boyfriend to girlfriend: To lick my balls?

–Jay St & Lawrence St

Overheard by: blushing beauty

Girl to another: So now, tell me, how does it feel to be a part of the inferior sex?
Guy: Wait, so you're admitting that women are inferior?
Girl: I have to wake up every morning and put on make-up!

–Washington Square Park

Grandmother, in french: What are you doing?
Three-year-old boy with spear-shaped stick: Shhh…I'm hunting children.

–Picnic House, Prospect Park

Overheard by: Incest King