Little girl, happily: And that's why I want to die.
Father, laughing: Why's that?
Little girl: So I can join the Grateful Dead!
–City Hall
Little girl, happily: And that's why I want to die.
Father, laughing: Why's that?
Little girl: So I can join the Grateful Dead!
–City Hall
Girl #1: I met a guy. He's paying for tickets.
Girl #2: Oh, does he have money?
Girl #1: Of course! I wouldn't do it otherwise.
–Forest Hills
Hipster, walking to registers with an armload of toothpaste: Who wants me?
Cashiers: (stare blankly, not moving)
Hipster: What, no one wants me? Ah, damn. That's sad.
–Duane Reade
Woman: Where is the men section?
Employee: This is the men section.
Woman: Oh, wow!
–Express For Him
Overheard by: Express
Flight attendant: In case of an emergency, please place the oxygen mask on yourself first. You may then help your favorite child or the one with the most potential.
Well dressed father: Which one would that be?
Bored mother: Neither.
–JFK
Overheard by: Glad my kids weren't with me
Girl #1 (in bodega): Oooh, can I have a little taste of that?
Girl #2: Lick my crabs!
–133rd & Amsterdam
Girl: Would you be mad if I became a dominatrix? It's not like I'd let the guys go down on me. It's a better option than prostitution.
Guy: Or you could just *not* do sex work, since you have a PhD.
–St. John's Place, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Eavesdropper has become eavesdroppee!
Yankees fan to Mets friends: When we go to the Yankees stadium I'll be like a retard at a Chuck E. Cheese.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Danial
Police officer in van, on loudspeaker: Move to the right! (people in cars ignore the order) Retards! You heard me! Move to the right!
–27th St & 10th Ave
Crazy guy, ranting: You can't have sex with people who aren't retarded because they charge too damn much!
–V Train
Overheard by: Ryan P.
Guy to girl: I never said that I wasn't retarded. Technically, I'm not a hypocrite.
–L Train
Overheard by: Julia
Heavily made-up girl: Do you think retarded people are, like, conceptually aware that they're retarded?
–6 Train
Overheard by: You tell me
Girl: The idea of a retarded Jack Russell Terrier is completely foreign to me, because as I recall, Wishbone was exceptionally well-read.
–Columbia University
Hipster chick: What are you listening to?
Friend: Sarah McLachlan. Are you mad? Sometimes I listen to Jewel too.
–4 Train
Black dude, yelling: I suck dick! I suck dick! I suck dick!
Brassy white chick walking past: Whatta you want, a medal? I suck dick too.
–Christopher & Bleecker
