Who Would Be Middle Aged And Be Sober?

Middle-aged lady: Look at that girl! Drunk and it’s not even four PM!
Friend: She’s not drunk, it’s just her shoes!
Middle-aged lady: But… Who would wear high heels and be sober?

–1st & 1st

Overheard by: eliza… the one with the heels

Headline by: Lalaith

Runners-Up:
· “British Comedians in Drag?” – Barry P.
· “I’ll Take Old Trades for $100, Alex” – Martin de Bruin
· “She’s Also Not a She. Not Originally Anyway.” – eric bostrom
· “The Same People Who Wear Crocs While Not Stoned Out Of Their Minds” – Cecilia
· “With Ann Coulter, You Can Never Be Sure.” – Jon T

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on August 30, 2007
Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Headline Contest Winners, Questions, Shoes, Union Square and East Village

Every Straight Man. Every Single Time.

Girl holding tally sheet: Do you want to stick this in my thinger?
Male coworker: You’re lucky it’s me. In the real world–
Girl holding tally sheet: –In the real world people wouldn’t take it there.

–NYU SCPS

Overheard by: she’s lucky i’m gay

Posted on August 30, 2007
Bimbettes, Comebacks, Coworkers, Innuendo, Jobs & Careers, Men, NYU, Pick-up Lines, Questions, School

Where the Fuck Are Wednesday One-Liners?

20-ish girl: Is this the line for the park?

–Line for Neue Gallery, 85th & Madison

Elderly Hindu getting off bus: Where is New York?

–Port Authority

High school girl looking at Lincoln Center: Oh my god, what’s that mall over there?!

–64th & Broadway

Overheard by: Peter

Pharmacy employee: Can I get to the UK by train or something?

–110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Rebecca Cukier

Bimbette: Madagascar was made up for the movie, right?

–The Met

Posted on August 29, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Questions, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

I Had No Idea You Were That Sort of Person

Teen girl #1: What do you want to do now?
Teen girl #2: Get something to eat.
Teen girl #1: Ew!

–59th & Columbus

Posted on August 27, 2007
Food, Girls, Idiots, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Teens

When Goth Club and the Gay Caucus Meet at the Same Time

Thugette #1: What’s it gonna be, girl? The dick or the blood?
Thugette #2: The blood, girl. It’s always the blood!

–Queens Library, Jamaica

Overheard by: Whatthefuckaretheytalkingabout?

Posted on August 26, 2007
Library, Queens, Questions, Thugs

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Doctor’s Note

Chick to another: She’s a weed-smoking, modern orthodox girl. I mean, I don’t think she goes to her rabbi’s high, but…

–Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: cole

Professor: … So the art department on the set just smokes pot all day and paints blue boulders.

–Media Productions class, City College

Mini thug: Yo, I wouldn’t even have to be high out of my mind to enjoy this shit!

–Brooklyn Cyclone, Coney Island

Overheard by: Alie

Smoking model on cell: Um, yeah, he’s cute… But, duh — he’s addicted to opiates!

–Houston & Laffayette

Overheard by: Jake

Hobo to girls: How are you smiling in a city filled with a million crackheads?

–56th & 5th

Guy on a rant in front of Imagine mosaic: In my next life I want to be an amoeba! Make more music, smoke more pot… Eating healthily is expensive! We should all have 40 acres and a mule and start all over!

–Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Overheard by: I’ll have what he’s having

Posted on August 22, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Arts & Letters, Beauty, Cocaine, Compliments, Food, Gripes, Judaism, Money & Class, Movies, Music, Psychic, Questions, Science, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Weed, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Clearly You’ve Never Seen a Cow Do a Beer-Bong

Drunk chick: Oh my god! Is AOL ‘America online’?
Friend: Ummm, yes.
Drunk chick: Holy crap!
Friend: What did you think it was?
Drunk chick: Who the fuck are you? And why do you want to sell me something, you dirty sloot?
Friend: I’m your friend, and you’re drunk.
Drunk chick: I am as sober as a cow.
Friend: What the hell?
Drunk chick: What does AOL stand for?

–Grand Central

Overheard by: noelle

Posted on August 17, 2007
Drunks, Grand Central, Questions

I’ll Check the Marriage License When I Get Home

Girlfriend: What was the name of that girl?
Boyfriend: Who?
Girlfriend: The one that was totally in love with you?
Boyfriend: Yeah, she was awesome.
Girlfriend: Who?
Boyfriend: No idea.

–Bergen & Flatbush, Brooklyn

Posted on August 13, 2007
Brooklyn, Couples, Questions

If You Must Sleep with Your Boyfriend, We Recommend Macy’s

Preppy girl #1: Are these boyfriend panties, or are these cheating-on-your-boyfriend panties?
Preppy girl #2: I think they’re a little slutty.
Preppy girl #1: So, for cheating?
Preppy girl #2: Yeah.
Preppy girl #1: Do you think this is all they have, or is there another drawer?

–Victoria’s Secret

Posted on August 12, 2007
Clothing, Preppies, Questions, Store

Questions