Girl: So, yeah, he took me to dinner at this Japanese place and–
Friend: –What’s his background?
Girl: He went to Georgetown and majored in–
Friend: –No. What color is he?
Girl: Oh, he’s white.
Friend, disappointed: That’s so boring… You’re sure? Plain white?
–116th & Broadway
Crackhead girl talking to old pimp: I don’t know why for she call you… Just to be talkin’ shit… You know how I be is…
–Bed-Stuy
Vassar student: If I spoke France fluently, I’d be there right now!
–West 7th & Avenue T
Man leaning into friend’s car window: Nah, she aight… Nah, she aight… Nah, she aight. [Sees a guy across the street] Hey, man, you aight? Aight… Nah, she aight…
–150th & Macombs
Black woman: He coulda played for the Bears, he coulda played for the Jets, but nothing never stucked.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: off white
Earnest student giving presentation: I was going to talk about Freud, but I decided he was tangenital to the discussion.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: She wasn’t kidding, and no one laughed
Artistic hipster wannabe: Also, not to get too psychoanaliterature…
–Starbucks, Union Square West
Overheard by: Benjamin
Thug: Yo, nigga, don’t make me yo’ escapegoat!
–4 train, Bronx
Overheard by: charles elliot
NYC woman: We’re here!
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura, I thought we were here to get cheap fake purses?
NYC woman: We are — this is Chinatown.
Southern tourist bimbo: Why are there so many Chinese people?
NYC woman, slowly: This is Chinatown…
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura! You know I hate Chinese people!
–Canal St
Overheard by: The Wizard
Black employee: Yo, why you gotta be hatin’ on my family like that?
White kid: Because you’re black.
Black employee: … Your mama’s black!
–Gristedes, 20th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Caroline
Black guy: Yo, you know what ‘FUBU’ stand for?
Black girl: Yeah, ‘For Us, by Us.’
Black guy: Naw, it stand for ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: It does not! It’s ‘For Us, by Us’!
Black guy: That’s what they want you to think. Everybody knows it’s ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: There ain’t no ‘T’ in ‘FUBU’!
Black guy: That don’t matter.
Black girl: You ign’ant, nigga!
–Midtown
Overheard by: Greg Reeves
Disgruntled man: Fuck that.
Disgruntled woman: I know. You know she a Arabic, so she don’t care about us.
Disgruntled man: Why the fuck they let that kind of people work there?
–Elevator, Children’s Services, 125th & Lenox
White girl: Excuse me, excuse me! God, you have a great skin. Do you tan?
Latina chick: Do I what? It’s December…
White girl: No, [sighs], I mean, do you use a spray-on or do you go to a salon? You know, a salon where you lay in a booth…
Latina chick: No. This is my skin color.
White girl: I can see that, but how did you get it that color?
Latina chick: This is the color I was born with.
White girl: Okay, but how is it so brown when you have green eyes?
Latina chick: Did you just smoke crack?
White girl: Look, it was just an innocent question. I don’t see why you have to get so personal…
Latina chick, turning on iPod: I hate everybody.
–3 train
Teen girl #1: So, I was talking to her and I said, ‘You’re lucky you’re a minority, because you can get more scholarships for college.’ And she told her friend, and now I’m a ‘racist.’ What the fuck?
Teen girl #2: How is that racist? It’s true! I don’t see a ‘United White Girls College Fund.’
Teen girl #3: It’s called ‘affirmative action.’ Look it up.
Teen girl #1: And why would I be racist? I love black people! I listen to rap.
–Brooklyn High School
White hipster #1 watching a white guy climb a streetlight: What the hell?
White hipster #2: White people are crazy.
White hipster #1: Yeah! They’re like monkeys!
–Orchard St near Houston
Overheard by: Julian
Man: Spanish?
Girl: Not in the mood.
Man: Itaaalian?
Girl: Nooot in the mood.
Man: French?
Girl: [Silence.]Man: You ever been with a black guy?
–Bus
Overheard by: Jesse
