Drunk guy #1: Hey, how come we never banged our neighbor?
Drunk guy #2: Because she’s 17 years old!
Drunk guy #1: OK, then why didn’t we bang her mom?
Drunk guy #2: Because we’re faggots!
Drunk guy #1: OK, then why haven’t we banged each other?
–V train
Gothic underage-looking stripper: Oh my god we have been looking everywhere for stripper shoes!
More underage-looking gothic stripper: Maybe this is God’s way of telling us not to be strippers.
–Macdougal & Bleecker
Overheard by: Zubin
Chick: So, New York, huh?
Pierced hipster: Yeah… I wanna move back to Pennsylvania, though.
Chick: Oh my god! Why?
Pierced hipster: It’s on the books here that everything you can do besides missionary position is illegal.
–4th St & Ave A
Hobo: Once you go black you never go back.
Girl: Oh, but I did!
–9th Street & 4th Avenue
Overheard by: anna k
Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight — you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that’s about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: still trying to figure out the logistics…
Male NYU student #1: Like a deer caught in the headlights–he just wanted to have sex.
Male NYU student #2: I love the Olive Garden, though.
–Waverly & Greene
Teen girl #1: I don’t care, I’ll talk booty all night for $50. Works for me.
–Keyspan Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Hyper JAP: So then I was like, "Hey, you can’t just sleep with me in your mom’s house and then leave, because I don’t even know your mom and I don’t care if she’s away."
Bored JAP: Right?
Hyper JAP: I blame Sex and the City for this.
Guy sitting nearby: Hey, blame it on you being a slut! Damn.
–Starbucks, 38 Park Row
Overheard by: Katelyn
Japanese student/tourist seemingly waiting for luggage: How long are you in New York for?
Woman waiting for luggage: Just for one night. I'm here for a conference and then I'm flying back tomorrow.
Japanese student/tourist: This is my fall break. I will be here through Tuesday.
Woman: That's nice. I hope you go out and have a nice time.
Japanese student/tourist: Yes. (pause) Sex.
–JFK Airport
Drunk girl: Excuse me… Excuse me, sir. A lady pirate in the next car just violated me. She slid her sword down my skirt, man! For real — she was a fuckin’ pirate! There’s a whole bunch of pirates in the next car!
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: Jesse
