Chick: So, New York, huh?
Pierced hipster: Yeah… I wanna move back to Pennsylvania, though.
Chick: Oh my god! Why?
Pierced hipster: It’s on the books here that everything you can do besides missionary position is illegal.
–4th St & Ave A
Chick: So, New York, huh?
Pierced hipster: Yeah… I wanna move back to Pennsylvania, though.
Chick: Oh my god! Why?
Pierced hipster: It’s on the books here that everything you can do besides missionary position is illegal.
–4th St & Ave A
Hobo: Once you go black you never go back.
Girl: Oh, but I did!
–9th Street & 4th Avenue
Overheard by: anna k
Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight — you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that’s about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: still trying to figure out the logistics…
Male NYU student #1: Like a deer caught in the headlights–he just wanted to have sex.
Male NYU student #2: I love the Olive Garden, though.
–Waverly & Greene
Teen girl #1: I don’t care, I’ll talk booty all night for $50. Works for me.
–Keyspan Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Hyper JAP: So then I was like, "Hey, you can’t just sleep with me in your mom’s house and then leave, because I don’t even know your mom and I don’t care if she’s away."
Bored JAP: Right?
Hyper JAP: I blame Sex and the City for this.
Guy sitting nearby: Hey, blame it on you being a slut! Damn.
–Starbucks, 38 Park Row
Overheard by: Katelyn
Japanese student/tourist seemingly waiting for luggage: How long are you in New York for?
Woman waiting for luggage: Just for one night. I'm here for a conference and then I'm flying back tomorrow.
Japanese student/tourist: This is my fall break. I will be here through Tuesday.
Woman: That's nice. I hope you go out and have a nice time.
Japanese student/tourist: Yes. (pause) Sex.
–JFK Airport
Drunk girl: Excuse me… Excuse me, sir. A lady pirate in the next car just violated me. She slid her sword down my skirt, man! For real — she was a fuckin’ pirate! There’s a whole bunch of pirates in the next car!
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: Jesse
Black guy: I ain’t saying I love her, but I got feelings for the bitch.
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Rick Segall
Fratboy: Fuck the afterlife. I want my 72 virgins now.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Djlindee
Shoplady on phone: Oh, so did she tell you about her sex? Well, she told me…I mean, she’s ugly but it’s good to know even ugly people can have good imaginary sex.
–Barbara Feinman Millinery, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Sarah C
Jamaican lady: We don’t fuck for enjoyment, we fuck for love.
–Washington Heights
Guy on cell: You had sex with my sister!…Well was she any good?…Where the hell did she learn that nifty trick?
–Times Square
Guy: Oh, you should come by the soup kitchen I run. There are no homeless people. Only real estate people. I used to go…I would go on Wednesday (snaps fingers) and I’d have a date for Saturday.
–Union Squre theatre
Suit: Marriage is so fucking out in banking right now. I was engaged for a while, just because I wanted to plant my seed, you know. But that didn’t work out.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Black Red Yellow NYC
Rich girl: I went to Forever21 and bought a dress. Then I stole some sunglasses and other accessories along with it, cause you know, times are rough.
–Metro-North Rail
Run-down-looking middle-aged guy: I got my phone stolen. Uh-huh. No, it wasn't even a trick, it was a friend!
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: STC
Very loud child at display of cars to mother in line: It's okay, mom! You don't need to buy one for me. I can just take one and run out. Maybe even two, easy!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oneofmanymikes
Shopping lady to friend: It's okay to steal but it's not okay to be gay.
–94th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: venniblue
Girl on phone: So you actually caught him stealing from you? (pause) Okay. (pause) Well, you didn't want that anyway. So you're still going to fuck him, right?
–Broadway & 21st St
