“There's No Wednesday One-Linering in Baseball!”

Dad to whiny three-year-old daughter: And now you're going to try and manipulate me by crying.

–186th St & Ft. Washington Ave

Girl to friends: That's just the way the world is. You don't see me cryin' whenever someone calls me a fat bitch or a short bitch or an ugly bitch…

–23rd & 8th

15-year-old boy: Yo, I'd cry if that happened to me, but I'm just sensitive like that.

–A Train

Overheard by: pop pop

Girl: And then you know I take out my yo-yo and start dancing. And then you know I'm multi-tasking! I'm yo-yoing, dancing and crying all at the same time!

–LaGuardia High School

Woman on cell: Alex, stop crying. Stop crying. What about the breadsticks, were there at least breadsticks?

–34th & 6th

Posted on September 23, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crying, Dads, Dancing, Family Ties, Fast Times at New York High, Food, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Not Exactly – It’s Just That They Ran Out of Condoms

Delivery guy, bringing soda that wasn’t delivered the first time: You ordered a mistake?
Man: Huh?
Delivery guy: Somebody ordered a mistake?

–117th & 2nd

Overheard by: cerebral pauly

Posted on September 21, 2014
Doctors, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Should've Used a Condom

See, He’s Giving You the Talon

Little Boy, running towards pigeon on sidewalk: RAWWWWWR!
Mother: Sweetie, they’re not afraid here. This is New York.

–39th & 3rd

Overheard by: erin

Posted on September 19, 2014
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Animals & Nature, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents, Should've Used a Condom

Kids These Days Are Bred to Be Competitive

Bag lady: Spare some food…I'm hungry. Anything, even some water.
Seven-year-old girl to mother, after bag lady leaves: She's hungry. Why's she hungry? I'm hungry too!

–E Train

Overheard by: nk

Posted on September 17, 2014
Bag ladies, Food, Homeless, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Questions, Should've Used a Condom

Just the Slow and Stupid Ones, Kiddo

Dad on bike: Look at the ducks!
Excited little boy: Can we run them over?

–Central Park

Posted on September 4, 2014
Animals & Nature, Central Park, Dads, Kids, Parents, Parks, Questions, Should've Used a Condom

Which Is Why Your Name Is “Suburban”

Four-year-old girl: Daddy, you love your Bourbon, don't you?
Embarrassed dad: Sh, sweetie…daddy's car is called a “Suburban.”

–Kings Plaza Mall

Posted on August 31, 2014
Brooklyn, Dads, Drinking & Drunk People, Kids, Malls, Names, Parents, Questions, Should've Used a Condom

Before She Starts Stripping Again.

Five-year-old girl: My favorite part of the movie was the naked man!
Mother: Mine too, mama.
Five-year-old girl: Naked maaaaaaaan!
Father: Make her stop.

–Park Avenue & 25th St

Posted on August 30, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Film, Kids, Moms, Movies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nudity, Should've Used a Condom

Have You Been Talking to Mommy's Divorce Lawyer Again?

Five-year-old boy, smiling: Daddy, guess what.
Father: What?
Five-year-old boy: I do not love you. (giggles uncontrollably)

–Penn Station, NJ Transit

Overheard by: Jenn

Posted on August 22, 2014
Dads, Kids, Love, Parents, Penn Station, Should've Used a Condom, Trains Not Subway

…And I'm Only Mostly a Bitch.

Too-hot-to-trot mother: Yo, stop hitting me with that thing.
Bad-ass eight-year-old son: Ahhh… Shut up, you bald-headed bitch!
Too-hot-to-trot mother: Yo, shut up! My head ain't bald!

–125th & Lexington

Overheard by: wish i could beat other people's kids

Posted on August 22, 2014
Body Parts, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Kids, Moms, Parents, Physical appearance, Should've Used a Condom, Violence

Have You Been Talking to Grandma?

Small boy to grandfather schlepping packages: That's not the problem…you are!
Grandfather: I'm the problem?
Small boy, wailing: Yes!

–W 66th St

Overheard by: Suze V

Posted on August 20, 2014
Comebacks, Families, Family Ties, Kids, Old People, Should've Used a Condom, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Should’ve Used a Condom