NYU student #1: We’re drawing bodies in art class today.
NYU student #2: Naked bodies?
NYU student #1: No, dead bodies.
NYU student #2: Naked dead bodies?
–Broadway
NYU student #1: We’re drawing bodies in art class today.
NYU student #2: Naked bodies?
NYU student #1: No, dead bodies.
NYU student #2: Naked dead bodies?
–Broadway
College boy #1: Did you see the camel toe on her? It was like her vagina was hungry or something.
College boy #2: Yeah, she had a ravenous vagina.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Brooklyn Julie
Professor: Why do people take drugs? Because their lives suck. That's right…all of you.
–Manhattan College
Chemistry professor, discussing quantum physics: If you beat on something hard enough, you can get it to do what you want!
–St. John's University, New York City
Property professor, after playing Barbra Streisand's version of "Not While I'm Around": Now, is that the same song as Steven Sondheim's version in Sweeney Todd?? (dreamily) Well, when Barbra Streisand does a song…is it ever the same song?
–St. John's Law School
Overheard by: Cori
Professor: If Obama wins the election, I'll buy you all beer.
–The Cooper Union
Professor: So the way Saint Augustine broke the Lord's commandment not to steal (nobody in class is listening) Was all just his way of honoring the Lord's law, by creating his own. It's sort of like when you have a child that's not allowed to stay up past nine but he knows his parents can stay up as late as they want, so in an act of rebellion he smears his shit all over the walls.
–NYU
Professor: Now, for your presentations, there is a time limit. If you go over nine minutes, I will cut you. (silent pause) …off.
–City College of New York
Student #1: Yo, who cares about the surrender at Yorktown?
Student #2: Actually, that's mad important.
Student #1: Oh, really?
Teacher: Well, if the British hadn't surrendered we'd all (in a British accent) talk like this and sound ridiculous.
Student #1: Um, no, if that had happened I'd probably be in Pakistan, in my village, farming.
Student #2: You'd be dead because the British had control of Pakistan too.
Student #1: And you'd be working a factory in China!
–Stuyvesant High School
Professor: If you’ll notice, in these studies, there are some where they only have samples of males. Can anyone tell me why that might be?
Student: Because men die.
–Hunter College, cultural anthropology classroom
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Southern high school teacher to tour group: … Because you are going to be either mugged, raped, or murdered. That is what I’m thinking is going to happen to me on these crazy New York City streets, so be alert.
Student: My parents paid for this trip?
–Outside Hampton Inn, 51st & 8th
Overheard by: jco
Student #1: Yeah, but for Christmas break I'm gonna be in South Carolina.
Student #2: Really? I'm gonna be in North Carolina! Maybe we'll run into each other!
–Classroom, NYU
Guy #1: Dude I just came from an eight o’clock class!
Guy #2: That’s brutal, man…
Guy #1: Nah, my teacher is mad fucking hot! [Whole class turns around.]Hefty professor: Well, you won’t have that problem in this class.
–Silver Building, NYU
Overheard by: Vinny Ku
College girl #1: Hey! How did your biology exam go?
College girl #2, proudly: No lube necessary!
–NYU
Overheard by: Mirna Rottencrotch
Student #1: Oh, all the t-shirts are mediums.
Student #2: Well, that's okay, that just means they'll be really long. Like a dress!
Student #1: Oh my god, we could totally wear them as dresses, with like, tights and cowboy boots.
Student #2: We would.
Student #1: We so would.
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: right behind them in line…
