Boy: How naked are we getting at this party?
Girl: Honey, I don't even need tequila to take my clothes off.
–Student Musical, Columbia
Boy: How naked are we getting at this party?
Girl: Honey, I don't even need tequila to take my clothes off.
–Student Musical, Columbia
Girl #1, in Spanish: Yesterday I saw the movie The History of Violence.
Girl #2: Hey, is that the one about the penguins?
–Spanish class, Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Espanola
College girl, to mumbling Persians: What language are you speaking? I’m just curious…
Persian college student: Well, that was English…
–Elevator, NYU Dorm
Chick on cell: The well of his fuckwaddery springs eternal.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Columbia student: Fuck. Fucking titties! What the fuck? Fucking titties, this is some goddamn bullshit! I really want a snack.
–110th & Broadway
Guy to girl: Are you serious? I'm not fucking creepy, okay? I'm not fucking creepy.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: NYU girl
Man on bicycle, yelling at car: Fuck you! Yeah, use your fucking blinkers, you fuckstick!
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Helene and Alice
Guy on cell, in monotone with no pauses: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, I need you, I need you, I need you, bitch. (hangs up)
–M4 Bus
Princess #1: I had to run to the cafeteria and get fro-yo because my stomach was growling in class! How embarrassing is that?
Princess #2: Oh my god. That is my worst nightmare.
–Fordham University Rose Hill
Overheard by: stine
Teacher: So, “third person omniscient” means the narrator knows the thoughts and feelings of everyone in the story. It's almost like God is telling the story.
Student: Or Chuck Norris.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Logic-major girl #1: You’re totally into rich men. Like, I can see you dating a multi-million-dollar dork like Bill Gates.
Logic-major girl #2: I’m not attracted to money. I just like middle-aged men in suits, and you have to be rich to wear a suit. Also, I want someone who can pay for my abortion, because Lord knows I can’t afford it.
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: I’m not pregnant
Girl student #1: God, this rain. I look like a drowned rat.
Girl student #2: Yeah, but you can pull it off.
Girl student #1: Yeah, I guess drowned rat is like the new dry mouse.
–Washington Square Park
Young boy: Mom, my problem is that I just can’t pay attention for long enough to do my homework the right way. I mean, maybe it’s’s just the weed talking, but I’d like to see someone.
–Washington Square Park
Neighbor #1: Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2: Knee socks? Or any socks?
Neighbor #1: Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2: No.
Neighbor #1: Do you have knee socks?
Neighbor #2: No.
–Wagner College Dorms, Staten Island
