Student #1: If we spit at the same time they'll hit the rail at the same time.
Student #2: No way! My spit will beat your spit down, no problem!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Joseph Durning
Student #1: If we spit at the same time they'll hit the rail at the same time.
Student #2: No way! My spit will beat your spit down, no problem!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Joseph Durning
Professor: And why did Moses lead the Jews out of Egypt?
Student: Because he was stoned.
–NYU
AP English teacher: Let's look at how this book can be read as a Christian allegory. The main character, Santiago, was a fisherman. (draws Jesus fish symbol on board) Okay, you all know what this is. So it means that Jesus, like Santiago, was a…?
Confused student: A fish?
–Riverdale
Physics teacher: Who wants to read problem five?
Girl in front of room: Who wants to drink cyanide for breakfast?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Little boy: My stomach hurts!
Teacher: How does it hurt? What does it feel like?
Little boy: It's… Almost like how it feels being pregnant.
–Public School, The Bronx
Astronomy professor: And on the test you'll all circle the answer that says…
Class, in unison: Mercury and Uranus!
Astronomy professor: Right. Mercury and my anus. So…
–Wagner College
Overheard by: At least class is never boring…
Sassy black woman: You think I would have brunch in Harlem? I wouldn't even have lunch in Harlem!
–D Train
Overheard by: laughing
Dramatic girl on cell: But I love you. I would go to Harlem and back for you!
–Starbucks
Girl: Wow, Harlem is like a cultural playground. There are stores and everything.
–Metro-North
Columbia freshman girl: I would never let anybody in Harlem touch my vagina.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meagan
Student #1: Hey, where N'Sync at?
Student #2: It's not “where N'Sync at,” it's “where are N'Sync at”?
–Times Square
White college student to Korean friend: Dude, I thought Asian-ness was like… universal!
Korean student, irritably: I hate seeing all these sneaky chinks around.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Someone who can tell Koreans from Chinese…
History teacher: Does anyone have any thoughts they'd like to share about the reading? Any strong opinions?
Girl: I want to share! I have a strong opinion! Can I share?
History teacher: You want to share, Amy*?
Girl: Yes!
History teacher: Go ahead.
Girl: Never mind.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
