Bored student, avoiding reading The Canterbury Tales: Is this going to teach us life lessons that we already know?
English teacher: Yes.
Bored student: Couldn't we read Chicken Soup for the Soul instead?
–Beacon St
Bored student, avoiding reading The Canterbury Tales: Is this going to teach us life lessons that we already know?
English teacher: Yes.
Bored student: Couldn't we read Chicken Soup for the Soul instead?
–Beacon St
Security guard: Oh, man, thank god for anti-depressants and alcohol! Nothing like Jack Daniels to get you through the day.
–The Met
Building security guard to mailman: Don't you think tv saved the world? Say you've got 10, 12, 14, 16 kids . . .
–William & Beekman
NYU security guard to long line of kids: A'ight kids, e-z passes out. Put your IDs in the air and wave them like you just don't care!
–College of Arts and Science, Washington Square Park
Security man: No photos in Tim Burton! No pictures, no photos! Tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell someone you don't like!
–Tim Burton Exhibit, MoMA
Security guard: Have a nice day… Now get the hell out of here.
–JFK Airport
Girl: Lisa went down on me while I was on my period. I decided just to roll with it.
–Frying Pan Bar
Professor: Let's all go home and menstruate! My goal in this class is to get all of you on the same schedule.
–NYU
Overheard by: Leslie
Upscale female suit on cell: I'm totally on the rag, but you can still lick my asshole.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: The Trooper
Gay guy on cell: I'm so cranky, I feel like I'm a girl who's on her period and pregnant.
–Park Ave & 29th St
Big black guy, loudly on phone: Why you bitchin at me because I won't cleeeeen behind you? I'm not gonna clean your nasty period ass offa the toilet! (nearby people begin laughing) Bitch, even the people on the streets be laughing at you!
–123rd St & Manhattan Ave
30-something woman on phone: Ma! Jesus, ma. I totally agree with you. (pause) Yeah, he told me to come over when the house was done. (pause) Yeah, fixed up. Jesus, ma. (groan) Yes. No! I'm not a slut. Ma!
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: maria
Teen girl to friend: I was living with my grandmother and my girlfriend was studying social work, I was sleeping with men at this time–but I wasn't a slut or anything.
–Westside Tavern, 23rd & 8th
Girl on cell: How many guys did I sleep with? Thirty, forty?
–Pearl St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: CAC Baby from The Glebe
Father on phone with daughter: I didn't raise you to be a fucking whore. If I wanted you to be a whore you think I would've paid for your goddamn degree?
–Washington Square Park
High school freshman to friend: My Spanish teacher called me a slut!
–61st St & Amsterdam Ave
High school girl #1: I love Hannah Montana but I hate Miley Cyrus. She's like a role model, you know? She shouldn't have taken those pictures, but… If she, you know, shouldn't have leaked them.
High school girl #2: I don't think she…
High school girl #1: Well, I know, but still!
–Flushing
Hot female student #1: I'm sending out goooood vibes for my calc exam.
Hot female student #2: Dude, the universe totally doesn't care about your calc exam.
Hot female student #1: What?
Hot female student #2: It cares about kittens! The universe cares about kittens! Jesus!
–Bedford Ave & Campus Ave
Film student: There's subtext to butt-sex?
–School of Visual Arts
Girl, to guy: Was your dick *in* my ass? Did we just do anal?
–Lower East Side
College girl: And my butthole is probably a lot tighter than hers.
–LIRR
Middle aged suit: I think I'd really enjoy anal because I always take such big craps.
–Union Square
Overheard by: alib
Woman to friend: Did you know the latest teenage fad is butt sex?
–177th St & Broadway
Student #1: Dyking it out with Kayla is my alibi.
Student #2: I thought it was “blowing the professor.”
Student #1: No, that's only if the first alibi fails.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Someone
Excited train operator: This is a Brooklyn-bound f train. Please step in and stand clear of the closing doors… Did any of y'all watch Cold Case Files last night? Whoooo!
–F Train
Female suit to another: I mean, we're better off having our kids watch American Idol than Baby Einstein.
–3rd & 84th
Overheard by: Daniela
Angry woman: They lied bout all that shit! I don't care bout her baby whether she's preggo or sick. I'mma whip that ugly bitch's ass… This ain't no Leave it to Beaver nothin' !
–Q Train
Overheard by: Taylor
Loud college student: A lot of things in my life I've been mirroring after the Dog Whisperer show. You know? It's just socializing.
–Library
Overheard by: Elyse
Teenage guy to friend: Man, every time I watch tv, I fucking hate life.
–81st St & Columbus Ave
Instructor: Those people outside are crazy, wearing big ol' leather boots in this kind of heat!
Student: Maybe they're from Texas?
Instructor: Nah, they looked pretty American to me.
–Beauty School, 35th & 8th
Overheard by: Bean
