Chick on phone: Where is Argentina?…Is there a beach?
–Madison Avenue office
Tourist guy: You know, for such a big city, it’s funny that New York has no rivers.
–Q train
Overheard by: Eva D
Navy lady: So he tried to tell me that this was the Empire State Building, but it’s Trump Tower!
–Columbus Circle
Chick: I think the difference between a blog and a website is that a blog is something you can set up without doing any of that website shit.
—Black Table party, Slainte, The Bowery
California chick: I was doing ketchup commercials in fourth grade; imagine where I could be now.
–Gatsby’s, Spring Street
DVD bootlegger: Counterfeit? How can these be counterfeit products if they haven’t even made the real ones yet?
–34th & 7th
Girl: Ohmigod! She keeps sending me tea! She’ll send me tea but not money! I don’t need tea! I need money! She’s freakin’ crazy!
–MailBoxes Etc., Columbus & 82nd
Overheard by: Sophia
Girl: That’s why I wanna take a business class, so my album can sell.
–BMCC
Overheard by: Goadster
Street vendor: Rims, Rims…buy some rims. Don’t have to own a car to buy rims!
–28th & 5th
Overheard by: Larissa Kyzer
Boy: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please? My name is Dante, and I’m not selling candy for my basketball team. I’m selling candy for myself, trying to get some cash in my pockets.
–4 train
Blockbuster girl: Well, Sideways is supposed to be totally good. It won a Grammy for Best Picture.
–Astoria Blockbuster
Overheard by: L.C.P.
Girl #1: I can’t wait for the summertime so I can hang out outside in biergartens.
Girl #2: Yeah, I’m going to go to the botanical garden.
–Coffee Shop, Union Square
Professor: Does anyone know the significance of Plato?
Girl #1: Wasn’t he a writer?
Girl #2: No, that was Plateau.
–LaGuardia Community College
Store guy: I don’t get it. If I lost my kid for 5 minutes I’d be crazy.
Customer man: You’d be hysterical. You’d be a madman.
Store guy: Meanwhile, the kid must have been in the store for 45 minutes before I noticed him!
–Quails, SI mall
Woman #1: They have a new water called “Smart Water”.
Woman #2: Oh yeah? What’s up with that?
Woman #1: I don’t know…I guess it makes you smart or something.
–96th & Columbus
Overheard by: Paco
NYU chick on cell: You know you’re having a bad day when you break your aura.
–West 4th & Jones
Overheard by: Sam Zimman
Guy: NYU is like a disease. It’s shaping the minds of the fucking
future.
–South Street seaport
Chick on cell: Oh my god, I just totally bombed my final. But it’s not fair. It’s not my fault I got stuck in a class with all smart people. My grade’s totally going to skyrocket downwards.
–NYU, Waverly & Washington Square East
Overheard by: LMF
Girl #1: You are way more charitable than I am.
Girl #2: Are you saying that only Catholics are charitable?
Girl #1: What?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Karla
In a crowded bathroom, a drunk guy at the short urinal calls over to his friend about six urinals down.
Guy #1: Hey, man! Why is mine so small? Is yours this small?
Guy #2: What?
–Penn Station men’s room
Girl #1: Is it hot in here or are my eyes just burning?
Girl #2: What?
–M66 bus
Overheard by: Gabriella
Butcher: Would you like anything else today?
Lady: Not that I can think of. As a matter of fact I haven’t really been able to think of much all day. Must be all the vicodin….So how do I prepare this?
Butcher: It’s lunchmeat. You just eat it.
–Greenpoint market
