Girl #1: You know, I’ve never met a gay person that wasn’t West Indian.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah. You know [Toby] in the office? He came in today and asked me how much time off he could get when he gets married to his boyfriend.
Girl #2: But he’s bald!…And he’s not West Indian.
Girl #1: Oh yeah.
–3 train
Girl #1: He’s just self-conscious.
Girl #2: Conscious about what?!
Girl #1: … Himself.
–Original Pizza, Bay Ridge & 4th
Overheard by: Patrick
Guy #1: Women should be kept in pods like in The Matrix. And whenever we want one, we just pay a fee and rent them for a few days for sex and cooking. Then we put them back. They shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets…ever.
Guy #2: Or they should be put in a one big room where they sew and cook and sip tea until they get a call.
Guy #1: Yeah, that's a bit more humane, I guess.
–Spring & Varick
Guy: So are you, like, a writer?
Hobo: Umm…no.
–69th & 3rd
NYU girl #1: … Like those people who kill themselves by throwing themselves onto the subway tracks.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, right? I mean, I know you want to die and everything, but could you like not make me late??
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: wow
Punk chick: Yeah, so my boss totally has this $20,000 rock in his yard.
Hipster chick: No way, like a diamond?
Punk chick: No, like a fucking rock.
–6 train
Fat chick to cute friend's blind date: So, wait, is Jean Garafolo a man or a woman?
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Becka Dash
20-something blonde girl: Is there an English word for "quesadilla"?
–F Train
Checkout lady, pausing with a container of hummus after scanning it: Lots of people buy this stuff…what is it?
–Myrtle St
Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton
Woman entering RadioShack: Excuse me, do you have radios?
–RadioShack, 72nd & Broadway
B9 bus driver to passengers: Make a left here?
–B9 Bus
Overheard by: VeganBeauty
Short man in glasses, suit, and ankle cast: Hey, I've got some great new music for you.
Tall blonde model: Oh, really?
Short man: Yeah! I've got the new David Guetta album three months before it's supposed to come out. It's got this song with Akon called Sexy Bitch.
Tall blonde model: Wow, cool!
Short man: It's a song about you!
Tall blonde model, genuinely surprised: Tee-hee! Really?
–Hotel down from the rooftop bar at the Gansevoort
Teenage blonde girl to another: You know what pisses me off? You can't look American.
Friend: Umm, yeah you can.
Teenage blonde girl: No, because you would have to look Indian, but all the Indians are dead. Christopher Columbus killed them all. I'm still really mad about that.
–G Train
Excited girl: Oh, look! A block party!
Other girl: Nope. That's a group of homeless people.
–92nd & 2nd
