Girl #1: So I know some Chinese now.
Girl #2 Really?
Girl #1: Yeah. I learned how to say our phone number from hearing you order food all the time.
–1 train
Overheard by: Karl Sturmgewehr
Girl #1: So I know some Chinese now.
Girl #2 Really?
Girl #1: Yeah. I learned how to say our phone number from hearing you order food all the time.
–1 train
Overheard by: Karl Sturmgewehr
Guy #1: I don’t get why they call it the 7 Years War if it didn’t really take 7 full years.
Guy #2: Well then, why don’t you write your own motherfucking textbook about history and call it whatever the fuck you want? And nobody will read it, because you don’t know shit about what we’re doing second semester!
–Fulton & Broadway
Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matthew Suss
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Guy: Hey, you seen that movie Grizzly Man yet?
Girl: No, but I really really want to.
Guy: Yeah, it’s so good. Hey, you know they’re making a movie about the bear guy? Already! And guess who’s starring in it!
Girl: I dunno…
Guy: Leonardo da Vinci!
Girl: Who?
Guy: You know! Leonardo da Vinci! Leonardo da Vinci!
–New School elevator, 13th & 5th
Overheard by: Halli Civelek
Store guy: Hello, how can I help you?
Chick: I’d like a meatball sub.
Store guy: would you like a six inch or footlong?
Chick: Footland.
–Subway, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Mike
Cashier girl: You have more than 10 items.
White man: Who are you? Are you the items police?
Cashier girl: You’re only allowed to have 10 items.
White man: Fine, but I have two of the same items, so does that count as one item or two?
Cashier girl: I have to call the manager.
–D’Agostino, 76th & Lexington
Overheard by: Andrew Saint John Goodwin
Guy #1: All I remember is walking into your room and everyone was smoking opium and sitting on the bed that was two feet from the ceiling.
Guy #2: Yeah, and remember Mr. Millard?
Guy #1: Yeah, remember when he died?
Guy #2: Oh my god, yeah, I was so happy, that fucker!
–L train
Overheard by: Mary C.
Guy #1: You know what we need? A nice breeze.
Guy #2: What the fuck are you talking about? It’s cold as balls.
Guy #1: I was being ironic.
Guy #2: That’s not ironic. Ironic is like…shit, I don’t know. Like that song.
Guy #1: Naw, man. That’s what people think, but ironic is when you say some shit but you mean some other shit.
Guy #2: Motherfucker, that’s facetious.
Guy #1: Yeah…Then what’s ironic?
Guy #2: How the fuck should I know? You the nigga with the GED.
–49th & 7th
Hipster girl: I still don’t understand why they say “word.”
Hipster guy: Well, I think it’s because they don’t know what word to use. Like, they get so excited they can’t say anything else.
Hipster girl: Why don’t they just say like, “Wow, that’s awesome” or something?
Hipster guy: That just makes you sound like an idiot.
–G train
Overheard by: Justin Fitzgerald
