Bus driver has huge sign pinned to his sleeve clearly reading, “Yes, I stop at Willowbrook Mall and 23 Park/Ride.”
Woman boarding bus: Do you stop at Willowbrook Mall?
–Port Authority
Bus driver has huge sign pinned to his sleeve clearly reading, “Yes, I stop at Willowbrook Mall and 23 Park/Ride.”
Woman boarding bus: Do you stop at Willowbrook Mall?
–Port Authority
Bi-curious guy to gaggle of girls: He wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror and says, “I hope I don't have herpes.”
Girl #1: Has he gotten tested?
Bi-curious guy: No, he's too afraid.
Girl #2: I would be too if I'd been around that much dirty snatch.
Girl #1: Wouldn't you be able to tell if you had herpes?
–Sheepshead Bay
Latino with kid’s bike #1: Yeah, he wants to change Father’s Day to ‘Dad Gets a Free Lap Dance Day.’ And he wants to call Halloween, uh… He wants to call it… uh… Yo, why’s it called ‘Halloween,’ anyway? What the fuck is Halloween?
Latino with kid’s bike #2: ‘Cause you know the word ‘hollow,’ like a tree is hollow? You know, and pumpkins are hollow. And ‘ween’ ’cause you can wear anything you want, like women’s clothing and shit.
–Manhattan-bound L train
Overheard by: Mistah Rabbit
Girl #1: I got sick today from a eating plum a Hare Krishna gave me. They like…put something on it!
Girl #2: What's a Hare Krishna?
Girl #3: Oh my god, they are like this cult that John Lennon invented.
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: Isabel
Chick #1: I felt a pop so I looked back and the string had broke.
Chick #2: How will you get it out then?
Chick #1: I don’t know. Bend over and stick a tweezer up there? Imagine if I can’t get it out and I have to go to the hospital, they’ll lock me up!
Chick #2: Nah, people get weirder stuff than that stuck up their ass all the time, like animals and shit.
–Bx34 bus
Overheard by: LLMT
Woman #1: So, where was the World Trade Center?
Woman #2: See that empty lot across the street?
Woman #1: Oh. So is that one of the buildings that fell?
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: joy
Former frat boy #1: So someone said “shots,” and someone else said “tequila,” and I said I didn't like tequila, so then I'm doing Irish Car Bombs. Next thing you know, $120 gone like that! (snaps fingers)
Former frat boy #2: Yeah, but you thought you were networking.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Barry
Man: So, whatever you want to do, I’ll do.
Woman: But…
Man: I’m fine doing whatever makes you happy.
Woman: But that’s stupid.
–Starbucks, 87th & Lexington
Teen boy: Yo, why do they call it a quarter to 8? It’s 15 minutes, and 25 is a quarter.
Girl: Huh?
Teen boy: If I say a quarter to 8, what time is it? It’s 7:45, but that doesn’t make no sense, it should be 7:35, a quarter is 25 not 15. You still don’t get it do you?
Girl: No, I get it, I get it.
Boy: It just doesn’t make no sense.
–Q54 Bus, Queens
Overheard by: Emily
Headline by: Brian Q
Runners-Up:
· “At half past eight, he had a profound revelation” – born dumb and in denial
· “Cents and Sensibility” – Jeannine
· “Don’t get him started on “25 or 6 to 4″” – Morgan Charles
· “He may be dumb, but he’s perpetually early” – Josh H
· “Hobo: I’ll take either” – Jedipus
· “How Parking Meters Rip Us Off” – meter man
· “Kid has a point” – ello
· “Metric time claims another victim” – remark
· “Still searching for his 25 minutes of fame…” – C.T. Aiken
· “Time is money, but the dollar is weak” – Mike Britton
Cosmetology student #1: I'm so happy I got my period.
Cosmetology student #2: What, you're not on the pill or condoms?
Cosmetology student #1: No, I don't let chemicals into my body. (takes long drag on a Lucky Strike)
–Varick & Vandam
Overheard by: Aveda Esthiology Student
