Hobo: Miss, you dropped some change…Miss, aren’t you gonna pick that up?
Catholic School girl: They’re all facing tails!
Hobo: Shit!
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Mr.Man
Hobo: Miss, you dropped some change…Miss, aren’t you gonna pick that up?
Catholic School girl: They’re all facing tails!
Hobo: Shit!
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Mr.Man
Lady: A lot of people came off this train. Why aren’t you people moving in?
Guy: There’s a baby stroller in the back.
Lady: Well, they should move it. Move it over to the side!
Guy: Move a tiny infant baby? Everybody, look! This lady right here is the Antichrist! Move the baby? You the Antichrist!
–6 train
Girl: Why do they have to be so rude here?
Guy: I feel like I’ve been gang raped with a 12 inch loaf.
–Subway, Rockefeller Center concourse
Speaker: Hello?
Guy: We’ve been waiting for like an hour. Any trains coming?
Speaker: Hold on, let me see…Hello, anyone there?
Guy: Yeah, we’re here. There any trains coming?
Speaker: There’s an police investigation at Broadway. I think someone got pushed onto the tracks and run over.
Guy: But are there any trains coming?
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: Mikey J.
Conductor: If you see someone trying to steal from you, make a lot of noise, create a big scene, and I’m sure someone will come to your aid.
Man: Clearly this guy is not from New York. Maybe he’s from Utah or something.
–A train
Man: Is this where we get off?
–Times Square shuttle
Guy: Can I help you?
Woman: You got boogers.
Guy: What?
Woman: You got boogers on your hand. I don’t want it.
Guy: I got allergies.
Woman: Well, whatever it is, I don’t want it!
Guy: You can’t catch allergies…
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Anton I
Girl #1: Why do I always have camel toe?
Girl #2: Are you buying your pants too tight?
Girl #1: No, I think I gained weight.
Girl #2: Where, in your labia?
–E train
Guy #1: Yo man! You look smart…You know what language that is?
Man: English.
Guy #1: Ha, ha! Yo man, I was jus’ playin’ wit you! But for real, you know this one?
Man: Italian.
Guy #2: Whoa.
Guy #1: What about this one?
Man: German…French…Korean…
Guy #1: Dude, that’s sick…that’s genius. What do they call that? Polyner or something?
Man: A polyglot. Polaner is jam.
–2 train
Overheard by: Mikey
Teen boy: I did the stupidest thing yesterday.
Teen girl: What?
Teen boy: I went up to the cops with my bag open, and I was like,
“Wanna search me? Wanna search me?” and they were like, “Okay.”
Teen girl: Ha, ha. You busted.
Teen boy: Yeah. They took half my condoms but they left everything
else.
–40th Street station
