Businesswoman #1: How are you doing?
Businesswoman #2: Crazy. How are you?
Businesswoman #1: Not as crazy as you, I guess. Your hair looks good today.
–Midotwn office
Businesswoman #1: How are you doing?
Businesswoman #2: Crazy. How are you?
Businesswoman #1: Not as crazy as you, I guess. Your hair looks good today.
–Midotwn office
Punk boy: Which way is Delancey Street?
Stoop guy: That’s Delancey.
Punk girl: Well, they must have moved it then.
–Essex between Delancey & Rivington
Puerto Rican teen #1: That’s nothing. I seen a horse give birth on the TV. That baby horse just come outta the big horse butt all slimy and shit.
Puerto Rican teen #2: Oh, snap?
Puerto Rican teen #1: For real, yo. That’s some big stuff comin’ outta your butt if you’re a horse and shit…
–14th St, between Ave A & Ave B
Guy: What were you doing studying on the first fucking day of school? You didn’t even have your books yet. What the fuck were you studying? Studying nothing.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ken Yapelli
Dad: Two more pairs? What do you have now, like, 19 pairs?
Daughter: But these are different.
Dad: Fine, but this must be all you need then, right? We won’t have to do anymore shopping for the whole school year, right?
Daughter: Well, I’m not sure about that. I may need some later.
Dad: Why? You only have one butt!
–Marshall’s, Atlantic Avenue Mall
Overheard by: Jake Abraham
Med student guy #1: Wait up, you’re saying that nearsighted means you can’t see far? But it should, like, mean that you can’t see near.
Med student guy #2: Yeah, I know, it’s like backwards or something.
–Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center, West 168th Street
Latino #1: Man, that nigga is black!.
Latino #2: Fo’ real. He could, like, walk into a funeral butt-naked, that nigga so black.
–Taco Bell, Northern Blvd, Woodside
Overheard by: playbill staffer
Hip Woman: Excuse me, I think you dropped your Metrocard.
UES Woman: I know. It’s not any good anymore.
Hip Woman: Oh, so now the floor is a garbage can?
UES Woman: That depends on your interpretation.
Hip Woman: Who interprets the floor of the bus as a garbage can? Man, I sure would hate to see your apartment.
–M15 bus
Hot Asian chick: Oh, I feel so sexually frustrated right now!
Dude: Oh my god, I can totally help you out with that! You could even call me Mark!
Hot Asian chick: And could we talk about labor law afterwards?
Dude: Anything!
Hot Asian chick: Don’t embarrass yourself, Chad.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: she can call me anything too
Guy #1: Naw, you’s retarded! That’s Greek, yo!
Guy #2: Where’s Greece?
Guy #1: Dude, Greece is in Ireland.
Guy #2: No it ain’t.
Guy #1: But they look the same, man!
–Sunset Park
Teen girl #1: I have to write an expository essay on something that has impacted my life.
Teen girl #2: Has anyone in your family ever died?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, but no one, like, close to me.
Teen girl #2: Do you have any, like, retards in your family?
Teen girl #1: No, but I did meet a retard one time… He was, like, really retarded, too. Maybe I’ll write about that…
–F train
